When you meet a beautiful woman who turns out to be smarter than you, you’re probably going to notice. And when you realize her intentions aren’t entirely pure, it’s going to feel like a shock. But, you won’t feel bad for wanting to keep her. After all, she can be a lot of fun. But, perhaps you should feel bad for yourself for falling into her trap. That’s what you need to ask yourself after you learn the truth. What happened? How did you end up falling for a woman you should never have wanted? That’s what you need to ask yourself. Because, ultimately, it’s your fault. It’s your fault for believing what she told you, for thinking she was the same as every other woman you’ve ever met, and for not being able to see what was right in front of you. It’s your fault for not being able to keep your eyes open and your mind open while you’re having fun. It’s your fault for letting her lead you on, and for not being able to see what was going on right under your nose. Ultimately, it’s your fault. It doesn’t matter if she changed her mind or if she lied to you about something benign. Ultimately, you’re responsible for your own actions. And, the fact that she deceived you doesn’t change that. Because, we all make mistakes. We’re all human. We all fall short sometimes. But, that doesn’t mean that we have to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. So, we need to learn from our mistakes. We need to grow. But, sometimes, that can be hard. So, here are six words you should never, ever think again:
1. Indulge Me
What happens when you give a female friend or coworker a little extra attention or a compliment? She’s going to feel indebted to you and, before you know it, you’re in the middle of a romantic situation you didn’t intend to be in. Sometimes, women will make false promises about what they’ll do for your attention. They might hint that they have a crush on you or that they’d like to be more than friends. Don’t buy into this game. It’s not fair to you. Indulge your friends but don’t let your friends indulge you. When you see something you like, feel free to message the person or people responsible for it and ask if they’d like to buy you a drink or if they’d like to see other items you have in your closet. Be a real friend and, let’s be honest, you’re likely to have more in common with your friend than you do with the object of your desire. If you want someone to be your friend, be a friend to them. But, don’t be a friend to someone whom you’re not sure is a good friend to you. Be a friend to everyone, all the time. Don’t let anyone slip through the cracks. Because, as we all know, good friends are hard to come by. So, don’t be afraid to put in the extra effort to ensure you have a support system you can rely on.
2. Always Listen To Her
No matter what stage you’re at in life, you’ve probably heard the saying “Women are always talking.” And, although that may be true, it can also be frustrating. Because, men aren’t always good at listening. We want to be able to talk and be heard. Sometimes, we even talk over women when we’re trying to have a conversation with someone else. But, that’s exactly what hurts us. Because, when we don’t listen, we’re not really learning anything. And, worse yet, we’re preventing the person we’re trying to have a conversation with from sharing his or her thoughts as well. We need to become better at listening. We need to become better listeners. Whenever possible, we should be actively listening to women. Not just listening to what they’re saying, but listening to how they’re saying it. Try to see things from their perspective. What do they need? What are they going through? Try to put yourself in their shoes. Unless you’re an asshole, in which case, do what you want. But still, try to see things from their perspective. It might not always be easy, but every now and then, it’s worth it. Men need to become better listeners, too. We need to become better at acknowledging that women are equal and have just as much to offer as we do. Because, ultimately, it’s about respect. If we want to be respected by other men, we first need to respect women.
Respecting women doesn’t mean we have to like everything they do. It doesn’t mean we have to agree with them or that we have to accept all their decisions. It simply means that we have to treat them with the same respect we’d give any other person. Be her friend, be her colleague, be her lover, but always, always, listen to her. Never, ever, ever, ask a woman for her opinion about something unless you’re prepared to listen to it. Even if she goes on to tell you that she agrees with your opinion, don’t assume that she does. Ask her why she thinks that and learn to appreciate her point-of-view even if you don’t agree with it. Ultimately, we need to become better listeners. We need to become better at truly, deeply listening to and understanding what our friends are saying. Because, ultimately, that’s what makes us better men.
3. Never Complain
Too many men have turned to complaining as a means of expressing their frustrations. And, while some men may do this as a way of coping, it rarely does any good. Complaining doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t fix anything. It rarely makes things better. The fact is that complaining doesn’t solve anything. There’s always, “something” about life that we’re not happy with. Usually, it’s something that we’re unhappy about with our spouse, our families, or our jobs. But, sometimes, it can be something that we’re unhappy about with the way things work in this world. Complaining doesn’t change any of that. It doesn’t matter if you complain about the way the world is or the way we live in it. Ultimately, we need to stop complaining and find another way to deal with our frustrations. But, first, we need to recognize that we’ve begun to complain. We need to become aware of it.
4. Never Judge A Book By Its Cover
You might be tempted to judge a book by its cover. But, don’t do it. It’s never wise to judge a book by its cover. Sometimes, the inside can be worse than the outside. You might think a book is awful based on its cover but, if you open it, you might find something completely different. Just think of all the fake books you’ve ever seen. Those poor, doomed books. You might think a book is awful based on its cover but, if you open it, you might find something completely different. We need to stop judging books by their covers. We need to become better judges of books based on their content. Because, ultimately, that’s what matters.
The outside might not always be an accurate reflection of the inside but, in most cases, it can be. We get so caught up in judging a book by its cover that we don’t give the content a chance. We might think a book is awful based on its cover but, if we open it, we might find something completely different. Maybe the content is amazing and the cover is just awful. Or, conversely, the content might be good but the cover is plain and ugly. It varies from case to case but, in most cases, we need to remember that the cover is just a cover. It’s rarely the whole story. We need to stop judging books by their covers. We need to become better judges of books based on their content. Ultimately, that’s what matters.