I don’t know if you’ve heard, but President Trump likes to tweet. A lot. He seems to find Twitter really useful for keeping up with what’s going on in the world, and for communicating with the American people. I guess it makes sense, since he is currently the most popular president in the history of America. Which is more than saying that I think he’s doing a good job, or that I agree with his politics. (I’m inclined to agree with his politics.)

Anyway, I don’t know why, but ever since President Trump tweeted about Robert Pattinson and his sexual harassment accusations a few weeks ago, I’ve been feeling really, really sad. Not just because I think that Robert Pattinson is an excellent actor and a great human being (he is), but also because I feel like he was the victim of some cosmic joke that only Trump and his minions could appreciate. I guess I’m saying that I miss Robert Pattinson. A lot. Like a lot a lot. (Okay, maybe I’m not saying that last part.)

The Allegory Of The Elephant And The Blind Man

It all started when Robert Pattinson did that press conference a few weeks ago, during which he confirmed that he is indeed dating a member of the Trump family. (I know, right?) Then they went on a date, and it was revealed that they had slept together. (They had not slept together before the date. They had merely fooled around. Just to be clear.) Now, Trump has been accused of sexual harassment before, and he did deny the accusation, (albeit a little too quickly. He should really work on his denials.) but this is the first time he’s been accused of dating someone who is not his wife, and it seems to be bothering him. (It’s bothering a lot of people.)

In a nutshell, the president started a hashtag on Twitter, #TrumpAndPattinson, and he began tweeting. A lot. (Like, a lot a lot.) And he kept on tweeting, and tweeting, and tweeting. Like, constantly. As you’d expect of a compulsive tweeter, he mostly talked about himself and what was going on in the White House. (I’m sure it’s not exactly like that in the White House, but it’s what I heard.) He also expressed outrage at how much the media was covering the story, and how unfair it all was. (Yes, he’s right. A lot of it is unfair. But what can you do?)

Now, I have no idea what motivated Trump to single out Robert Pattinson to begin with. (I mean, I know why he picked on Taylor Swift and Jon Scott, but that’s mostly because he feels like they’ve slighted him in some way. Swift because she changed her name to remove the stigma that came with being a former “Swiftie,” and Jon Scott because he called out Kanye West for supporting Donald Trump. I mean, it’s possible that Trump feels like Robert Pattinson was a pawn in the media’s scheming attempts to bring him down.) But what I do know is that ever since that fateful date in January, I’ve been feeling pretty low. Which, to be honest, is an understatement. (The man is like the anti-Christ. I mean, the fact that he’s doing so well just makes me feel that much worse.)

All Of This For What, Exactly?

It’s been a rough few weeks, hasn’t it? For everyone. Even for those of us who support Trump and his policy proposals. (I mean, I’m sure a lot of you lovely people will be happy to comply with his policies once he’s implemented them. But, like, right now? Not so much.)

It would be one thing if this was all in good fun. (Just kidding.) It would be one thing if this were all in the good spirit. Like, I get that Trump is having some fun with this, (which is probably why he keeps on going back to this particular subject matter), but I don’t think he meant for it to be in Robert Pattinson’s and the media’s faces. (Although, I suppose it’s possible that he did. Who’s to say?)

It would be one thing if this were just a case of a celebrity trying to get some attention. (I mean, I get that a lot of people want to be associated with the Trump administration, and I’m sure there are people out there who would love to be in the company of an excellent actor and entrepreneur. Who wouldn’t?) But it’s not just about getting some media attention. This is about the media’s complete and utter obsession with the president’s private life, (as if their own personal feelings don’t matter at all), and about how they have chosen to publicly shame a fellow citizen for something he has no control over. (Which, to be fair, is none of their business. Unless you’re Robert Pattinson, in which case it’s all of their business.)

It’s one thing to look down upon someone else’s personal life. (I mean, like I said, Jon Scott and Taylor Swift are two people I’ve heard of who’ve been pretty vocal about their distaste for all things romantic. So, I get that. Although, I would like to point out that while they weren’t personally involved in the shaming, they have both publicly supported Donald Trump’s candidacy, and have spoken out about his alleged harassment. Which is pretty good, considering how unpopular the president is in Hollywood.)

But it’s not like anyone forced Robert Pattinson to be out there in the first place. It’s not like anyone forced him to confirm that he’s dating a Trump. (Although, I suppose it’s possible that they did. Who’s to say?) And it’s not like anyone forced him to sleep with a member of the opposite sex. (Although, I suppose it’s possible that they did. Who’s to say?)

So why is the president bothering with this? Why is he tweeting about this particular issue, (something that’s easily forgotten, in terms of actual policy, once he’s implemented his own version of Obamacare and the border wall), and why is he choosing to publicly shame Robert Pattinson?

Is he trying to send a message to other celebrities who may not agree with him, but who might get the wrong idea about him from all of this? Is he trying to send a message to the media, (basically telling them not to mess with him and his family), or is he trying to send a message to the American people, (basically telling them that Hollywood and the media are out of line and shouldn’t be involved in something so private)? Or is he just trying to have some fun and see how many people he can get riled up? (I mean, seriously, who’s to say?)

What About All the Other Accusers?

For some reason, Robert Pattinson is the one that President Trump has chosen to single out and focus on. (Which is kind of amazing, if you think about it. And also kind of terrifying.) And while I can understand why he’d choose to publicly shame the Twilight star, (mainly because of what he stands to gain from it), I also feel really bad for all of the other women and men who’ve been mistreated by prominent members of the Hollywood community. (Just kidding. Not at all.)

Look, as much as I’d like to tell you that I disapprove of everything the Trump administration is doing, (and believe me, I do), I also have to give the guy some props for, amongst other things, making American journalism and political satire look incredibly bad. (Not that they weren’t bad already, but now it’s almost like a brand new thing.)

So, yeah. I don’t know. I guess maybe I miss Robert Pattinson. A little. (A lot.) But mostly I feel bad for all of the other people who’ve been put in the position of having to endure Donald Trump’s public scrutiny, (which is most of them), and I feel bad for all of Robert Pattinson’s fans. (Mostly because he’s one of the best actors currently working, and everyone knows what a difficult journey acting can be.)

Anyway, that’s my two cents. (Actually, it’s just one cent, but with two votes.) What do you think? (I mean, you’re reading this, so I assume that you have an opinion on this matter.) Is Robert Pattinson a victim of Trump’s vindictiveness, or does this just show how much of a hypocrite and liar he is? Let us know! (Personally, I think it’s a bit of both. Which is probably why I’m feeling so badly that I miss him.)