I have a theory. It might be crazy, outrageous, or even a touch racist, but hear me out. It’s based on a combination of my love for bikinis and my hatred for the English.

You see, when it comes to fashion, the world seems to have split into two camps: those who love dressing in very bold and bright colours, and everyone else who prefers pastel shades and neutral clothing.

While I am a full-blown fan of vivid, eye-catching clothes and hairstyles, I have a sneaking suspicion that not everyone is as fortunate as I am when it comes to the fabrics and colours that attract the eye. For those who prefer pastel colours, it can be difficult to find clothes that match the charm of an ice cream truck or the sparkle of a starry night.

Is it possible that some of the most stylish and eye-catching people we know feel the need to subdue their style a little bit to match whatever the current trend is? Is the desire to keep up with the Joneses causing people to forget about the individuality that makes them so special? Does the need to keep up with the fashion pack cause them to dumb down their style just a little bit?

I’d like to think not. The fact is, people like me and you have a wide-ranging appreciation for fashion, and we understand the need to stand out.

So today, I’d like to put forward my theory about why the Chelsea Man is the only one to wear the red bikini. To begin with, it’s a crime against fashion to copy what everyone else is doing. It isn’t cool. It makes you look silly and desperate. The thing is, other men’s habits are not our issue. We have a right to wear what we want, but just as importantly, we have a responsibility to express ourselves.

Why Bikinis?

I have a very unusual hobby. I like to spend my winters in the swimsuit edition of Playboy magazine; my summers in a Speedo. It might not sound like the most practical of hobbies, but trust me, it’s practical. When it comes to fashion and style, there are a number of benefits to be gained from wearing a bikini. To begin with, bikinis are the perfect transition between warm weather and cool weather wear. They’re classy, yet sensual, and definitely serve to accentuate your charms.

Bikinis also work well with a number of styles and fashion trends. They’re great with almost everyone. And what’s more is they’re versatile enough to work for both men and women. They can be used to accentuate different features and qualities; to make you look taller, slimmer, or curvier, for example.

I could go on and on about the benefits of wearing a bikini, but the point is, bikinis are great for multiple reasons, and it would be a crime to the fashion world not to own at least one bikini; preferably several.

Why Choose the Red Bikini?

If we’re going to stick with my theory, we need to take a step back and ask ourselves a question; why does the Chelsea Man choose to wear the red bikini? The short answer is, he can. The long answer is a little more complicated. Let’s take a look.

The Chelsea Football Club is one of the most historic and stylish football clubs in the world. It was first established in 1881, and has gone on to win numerous trophies and accolades over the years. It is also one of the few football clubs to have a female member on the board. It’s quite the unique club.

Now while I’m sure there are a number of reasons why the club enjoys such global support, I’d like to suggest one reason in particular sticks out; the red bikini.

It’s well-known that the Chelsea Football Club is closely associated with English football, and the mores of British culture. The club’s crest features two lions standing for England, and the teams’ kit is predominantly red and white. The colour red represents “strength and power” in English culture. It’s also the colour of “determination” and “fight” in the English language. So you can see how all of this combines to make the red bikini an ideal choice for the stylish Chelsea Man.

If you’d like to know more, the official website of the English football club contains an entire section devoted to answering your questions about the outfit.

Why Shouldn’t Women Wear Bikinis?

I’d be lying if I said that men aren’t affected by fashion trends as much as women. While a woman might want to accessorise with the pink dress that made Angelina Jolie a superstar, a man is more likely to be drawn to a woman wearing something that accentuates her curves.

It is a combination of societal pressure and male desire that makes women so vulnerable to fashion trends. It doesn’t help that the media can be very powerful when it comes to affecting a woman’s self-image. If you look at the covers of popular magazines from the 1950s to the 1970s, you’ll see that women were heavily influenced by fashion trends, and it wasn’t always in a positive way. Sometimes the media can objectify and sexualise women, which in turn contributes to low self-esteem and body-shaming. This is something that men must also be aware of.

Why Shouldn’t Men Wear Bikinis?

While women might want to accessorise with the pink dress that made Angelina Jolie a superstar, a man is more likely to be drawn to a woman wearing something that accentuates her curves.

It is a combination of societal pressure and male desire that makes men so vulnerable to fashion trends. Like women, men can be influenced by the media when it comes to fashion and style. And while men might like to think that they’re not affected by what they see in the media, the truth is, they are, especially when it comes to fashion.

One of the most famous quotes attributed to Aristotle is “A woman should learn to govern her emotions, but a man should learn to express his”. This advice probably dates back centuries, yet it still applies today. It’s no secret that women are more emotional than men, and it shows in our fashion choices. The desire to express yourself through fashion is one of the factors that make men special, yet it’s also one of the factors that can make them vulnerable. While it’s not always a bad thing to be drawn to your feminine side, it’s important to learn to recognise the signs of insecurity so that you can help to guide and protect your loved ones as best you can.

But enough about men and women. Let’s get back to talking about fashion and style. While it might not always be practical to own every item of clothing and accessories that you see, it is always wise to make note of what you like and dislike. If you see a style or fashion trend that you like but dislike, it’s advisable to question why you feel this way. And remember, we’re all individuals. What may be seen as a good idea by one person may be seen as a crime against fashion by another. This is why it’s important to listen to your own instincts and feelings.

I’m sure there are many reasons why the current fashion trend is toward bikinis. Perhaps it’s the simplicity and classiness of the garment, or maybe it’s the fact that we’re living in a world where women are finally being given the equality that they deserve. Or it could be that British culture is finally realising that there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

Whatever the reason may be, at least for now, the Englishman’s best friend can be worn by both men and women, and it’s a crime against fashion not to own at least one bikini.