For a while, it was just the thought of Robert Pattinson that would have my heart racing. The idea of him playing a real life character in a movie was such a thrill, and watching the trailers a hundred times was not enough for me. Never in my life have I been so happy to be proven wrong about someone. But then, in the span of a few short days, the spark turned into a flame, and I found myself lost in the fire. It is one thing to admit defeat, quite another to feel it. At first, I just felt numb. I didn’t get it; I didn’t understand it. This couldn’t be happening to me, it couldn’t. But then the pain set in, the betrayal, and I realized that this is not a game, this is for real.

The Beginning Of The End

You see, the thing about heartbreak is that it is sneaky. For the longest time, I didn’t even know I was in trouble. I mean, sure, I would get a little annoyed at times when he didn’t call, or when he canceled our dates, but it never even crossed my mind that something was wrong. And then, just like that, it was as if a switch had been flipped and I became conscious of my feelings. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with emotions — fear, anxiety, helplessness — and I knew exactly what was happening. It took me a little while to understand that it was over, but when I did, I immediately felt like my world had been turned upside down. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do or who to talk to, but I knew there was someone out there that could help me. After all, I am not a stranger to disappointment. I have been hurt before, and I knew I could trust myself enough to figure things out. The problem was that I didn’t know where to begin. I had spent my entire adult life trying to avoid falling in love, and here I was, falling head over heels.

The Madness Of Trying To Hold On To Your Ex

The problem is that when you do start to feel those crazy and overwhelming feelings, it is nearly impossible to focus on anything else. It is like trying to keep your hands to yourself while being attacked by a tiger. You know it is wrong, but you cannot help but feel drawn to it. So it was with me and Robert. I knew there was something wrong, but I couldn’t help myself. I kept thinking that if I just did something to make him love me, he would realize how much he really needs me and that we would work things out. But as we all know, life rarely works that way. The more I did to force him to love me, the more he pulled away. It was a lose-lose situation and there was no way for me to make it work. No amount of texting or calling would do any good if he wasn’t willing to put in the work to heal our relationship. After awhile, I stopped even trying. It just became clear that this was a lost cause. He wasn’t going to change, and I wasn’t going to be able to fix it. So I had to let go.

The Need To Move On

Now I know there are a lot of you that will disagree with me on this one, but I believe that it is extremely important to move on. I have tried to put myself in a position to not be affected by what happened, because I knew that eventually it would happen to me too. I had to let go of the past and I had to let go of him. The only thing that matters now is me and my future. When I let go of him, I didn’t just lose a boyfriend, I lost my best friend. But as much as I wanted to stay in that dark place for the rest of my life, I knew I had to come back and try to pick up the pieces. It wasn’t easy, but I knew I had to do it for myself, because nobody else would want to be with someone who was constantly disappointed in themselves. There is a lesson to be learned from all of this, I suppose. One should not get their hopes up too high, because the disappointment will be there when you least expect it. Even if it takes awhile to see it, it will be there. You can try to fool yourself, but in the end, it will all be for nothing. So until then, keep your head up and fight for what you want. You never know what could happen. Maybe one day, you will meet someone who will make you see the world in a different way, who will inspire you to be stronger, who will remind you that there are good things in this world, and above all, someone who will understand and accept you for who you are.