Most of us have been there. We’ve seen a hot woman, and we’ve just gotta have her. We have a grand vision in our heads of all the amazing things that could happen if only we asked, of all the wonderful things that could be ours if only we tried. We aren’t particular. We are attracted to all types of women, but sometimes there’s that one particular woman who doesn’t feel the same way about us. What do we do when she turns us down? Do we give up, or do we push forward?
Here’s a scenario: You are on a date with a stunning woman. You’ve been talking for a while, and the conversation has led to you kissing her. You both seem to enjoy the moment, and before you know it, you are making out with each other. She breaks it off and says, “No, I’m not feeling that way about you.” What do you do? How do you respond? What if she says that a second time? A third time? How much persuasion do you need before you walk away? How do you handle the awkward goodbye?
The Answer
First of all, recognize that there is a difference between getting turned down and being rejected. One is a feeling, the other is a choice. You have the choice to walk away and not give it another thought, or you can keep trying to change her mind. It is up to you. Do you want to be with this woman? Or are you just looking to have fun? The choice is yours.
When a woman turns you down, you have a few options. First, you could try to change her mind. Second, you could walk away with no hard feelings. And finally, you could ask why she turned you down. Women are complex creatures, and it could be that there is more than one reason for her behavior. By understanding her intentions and the reasoning behind them, you are more likely to be able to change her mind. Third, you could try to be more honest. If you are just looking for a one-night stand, then be up front about it. Don’t hide your intentions, but you also don’t need to be so blunt as to hurt her feelings. She might just think that you are a jerk and turn you down for that reason alone. However, if you really want to be with this woman, then it’s time to man up and be honest about it. Better to find out now than after you’ve slept together and she realized that this was not the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Lastly, you could take a step back. If you came on too strong, she might feel threatened and shut down. So, for a while, it might not be the most comfortable of relationships. In that case, you have to back off, respect her wishes, and keep your distance. You don’t want to push your luck, and you don’t want to ruin the beautiful friendship you’ve built up over the years. Besides, she doesn’t owe you anything. You’ve done nothing but show up and be honest about your intentions, and she’s decided that this is not what she wants out of life. So, what does that mean for you? It means that you have to respect her wishes and walk away. What happens next? Does she want to keep seeing you? Does she want to be friends? Does she want to be with someone else? You have to respect her wishes. It’s not your place to decide. You’ve asked for her number, you’ve taken her out on dates, and now it’s time for her to decide. She’s the one with the power, and it’s not you. You want to be with this woman, and it’s obviously making her feel insecure about it. You’ve both enjoyed the dates, but now it’s time for her to decide. You want to continue seeing her, right? You should continue seeing her. If she decides to turn you down, it’s not because she doesn’t want to be with you. It’s because she doesn’t know what she wants yet. So, give it some time, and when she does decide, you’ll be the first person she comes back to. However, if she decides to say yes, then you’ve got a beautiful friendship ahead of you. You both want the same thing, being together. Just remember that she’s the one with the power, and you’ve got to continue being the good guy. In order to do that, you’ve got to walk away. Don’t try to convince her that she’s wrong. Stay away until she figures it out. If she decides to say yes, it will be because she wants you, not because she feels sorry for you. That’s a quality you should be looking for in a woman. Most importantly, don’t take it personally. Whether the outcome is good or bad, it will only happen because of how she feels about you, not because of what you did or didn’t do. She doesn’t need to apologize to you, and you don’t need to apologize to her. You’ve both done nothing wrong. It’s just how you’re both feeling at this point in time. That’s all.