If you follow celebrity news at all, you’ll know that there’s been a bit of a freak show unfolding as of late. Most notably, we’ve had multiple breakups and some pretty intense in-fighting between the exes of Hollywood’s biggest superstitions. But one thing that all of this bad blood has in common is that it’s been entirely instigated by Rob Pattinson. Now, I’m not here to judge the guy. As I’m sure we’ve all been there to one degree or another and have fallen for a Hollywood hunk (or maybe even a regular everyday Joe), I’m not here to hate on Rob. But what I am here to do is to expose the crazy shenanigans that have surrounded this particular case and shine a light on the bizarre behavior that was bound to happen.

The Set Up

For those of you who don’t follow celebrity gossip or even read tabloid news, let me fill you in on the basics. Let’s start with the fact that Rob (then Robert) Pattinson is the son of novelist and screenwriter David Pattinson. Now, if you’ve ever read any of dad’s work, you’ll know that he’s not the most conventional of men and his stories often contain a hefty dose of Shakespeare and Greek mythology. Needless to say, this is probably where Robert derived his charm. From childhood on, he was surrounded by literature and theater, which likely explains why he fell in love with acting so young. He went to prestigious London acting schools and made his film debut in the 2006 film, The Beach. Though he later had a falling out with his father, the two remain civilised partners and work together on projects.

Rob’s mother is a former actress and model turned photographer, Kate. Now, I might be biased, but I can confidently say that she’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen and deserves every bit of attention she gets. From what I understand, she’s been at the forefront of fashion for many years and was responsible for shooting many adverts and catalogs for renowned brands such as Burberry and Victoria Beckham. She’s the epitome of elegance and class and I have no doubt that her son will grow up to be a confident, charming and successful man.

The Break Up

As for the break-up, it began with some scandalous photos of Twilight co-star Kellan Lutz making a naked and apparently very angry man out of Rob. Naturally, the press had a field day with these newly uncovered (and highly edited) snaps. Soon enough, the tabloids and magazines were filled with more lewd photos of Rob and Lutz tearing each other apart. This sort of thing is usually reserved for celebrities and movie stars, but since the photos were so explicit and to such a sensitive subject matter, pretty much everyone in the media had a field day.

What I find most interesting about this entire debacle is that it wasn’t just one or two hush-hush affairs that turned into a full blown feud. It starts with the split between Rob and Edward Cullen (then 28) in 2008, but it doesn’t end there. The pair went their separate ways professionally, but remained friends and the animosity between them never truly went away. It was like they just needed an excuse to continue fighting. And what’s most intriguing is that all of this started with some racy photos of Edward and Bella Swan (then 19) taken before they were officially confirmed as an item. It wasn’t long before the press had a field day with this famous couple and their blossoming romance. Naturally, this sort of thing is usually reserved for celebrities and movie stars, but since the photos were so explicit and to such a sensitive subject matter, pretty much everyone in the media had a field day.

The Reunions

It didn’t take long before fans began to wonder if Edward and Bella had gotten back together to fight Rob and his father. After all, why else would they keep breaking up and getting back together? They did eventually reconcile in 2012 and began living together in Miami, where they currently reside. Since they’ve been going through such a rough patch, it only made sense that they would want to stay together and support each other during this time. Naturally, this speculation only made fans even more curious about the couple’s relationship. Why else would they keep getting back together if they weren’t going to actully act as a couple?

It wasn’t until this past summer that fans finally got their answer. That’s when the Cullens and Pattinson families decided to celebrate David’s 70th birthday by throwing him a lavish party. Naturally, all of the A-listers were there, including Robert. It wasn’t long before pictures began circulating of the actor sharing a sweet moment with his dad. At the same time, Bella was seen giving her ex-boyfriend a sad look as she stood next to her new boyfriend. While it’s always nice to see family and friends getting along, it was strange to see the two former lovebirds acting like they had something to fight about. Plus, this was the first time that Rob had publicly acknowledged that he was dating anyone. Not to mention that he was dating someone who was once engaged to be married to another man. Needless to say, this was a very touchy subject for everyone involved, particularly for Rob.

The Weird Behavior

Now for the weirdness. As I mentioned earlier, all of this drama has its roots in pictures that were taken of the Twilight stars when they were younger. For whatever reason, Pattinson likes to bathe in milk and apparently, so do a lot of the other vampires in the franchise. The rumors state that Pattinson is a full-fledged vampire and that he drinks the milk of goats and cows to stay healthy. Naturally, this is all nonsense. Vampires don’t exist and no one in Hollywood, apart from Anne Rice, has ever written anything substantial about them. As for the drama that surrounds the dairy products, it’s a common occurrence for photographers to be banned from certain parties because the hosts don’t want their guests to appear in pornographic snapshots. This doesn’t mean that everyone gets naked or engages in sex acts, but it’s certainly something that could happen. It’s not like these parties are exactly family friendly. And yes, I’m aware of how depraved I sound.

Another thing that’s become popular recently is that Rob takes great delight in antagonizing his co-stars. For example, he often goes on the offensive against the Hunger Games star, Jennifer Lawrence. Though they’ve never actually worked together, they’ve certainly had run-ins with each other. In fact, he once famously went so far as to publicly call out Lawrence for her complicity in the Oscar-slimed fiasco, The Hunger Games. Now, I’m not here to defend that movie – it was horrendous – but even its most ardent fans can’t deny that it made a lot of money. And what’s most intriguing is that, even though they’ve never actually worked together, he has a clear vendetta against her. Perhaps it’s because she made fun of Bella’s weight in a movie interview shortly after the Twilight films came out. Perhaps it’s because she stole one of Bella’s iconic scenes in the film, in which she plays Lawrence’s character, Katniss Everdeen, is completely nude except for a flower crown, and bathes in the blood of a dozen murdered children.

If you want a definitive answer as to why this is happening, all you need to do is look at the source material. The fact that all of these bizarre occurrences are based on fiction means that they’re bound to happen. In fact, it’s almost like Pattinson is deliberately trying to sabotage his own image. Or maybe he just wants to remind everyone that he’s still just a regular guy. At this point, I don’t know how to feel other than amused.