The very first image to greet you when you load up the newly-released Batman porn video with Robert Pattinson’s grinning face on it is the one that has divided opinion. The actor seems at ease in his role as the notorious Dark Knight, displaying his enviable physique and flexing his muscles as he flips off the camera.
But aside from his charm, charisma and perfectly manicured nails, what exactly does the new Batman video expose us to?
There are a number of bombshells contained within the video’s footage. For one thing, Pattinson appears to be taking a dip in a literal Fountain of Cash. Is this just a stunt, or does the actor truly indulge his passion for luxurious baths?
Then there’s the matter of the $600,000 in cash that he’s carrying around with him. Does he truly enjoy bathing in large amounts of money? Was he paid handsomely for this particular acting role, or does he have another explanation?
Even more intriguing is the revelation of actress Uma Thurman’s (Pattinson’s co-star in the new movie) bisexuality. Does this mean that the actor and the famous film director Quentin Tarantulinu are indulging in bisexual orgies?
Perhaps the most shocking part of all is that it appears as though the new Batman video was shot in Thailand. The gorgeous country is well-known for its beautiful beaches and luxurious hotels. It also happens to be the home of the infamous brothel industry, offering visitors the opportunity to spend a night with a gorgeous prostitute. Does this industry contribute to the beautiful landscape that we behold in this new film? You be the judge. You can check out the whole video here on the official website for Batman.
While some folks are going to bathe in the new Batman movie until it’s gone, we at FHM think that this will be something that you watch and rewatch over and over again. The scene where he takes a bath has almost become an iconic image of the late twentieth century.
Robert Pattinson: The Iconic Face Of The Batman Franchise
Most comic book fans know that the Dark Knight was first introduced to the world in 1989. However, it wasn’t until the release of Batman in 1966 that his life and adventures inside the fictional Gotham City really took off. The fact that Batman was an original TV series that ran from 1966 to 1968 certainly helped, inspiring a whole generation of kids to become obsessed with the Caped Crusader.
But even before that, a young boy was inspired by the adventures of Batman. That was Bruce Wayne, the boy who would grow up to be Batman. Much has changed since those days, but not much about Bruce’s childhood imagination has. He still spends his nights reading about Batman, dreaming about being the Dark Knight, and trying to emulate his cool attitude. It seems that some things never change. So while some fans might be annoyed at the new Batman having a different actor playing the part, they have to admit that it’s for the best. Even Alfred will admit that Batman needs a little change now and then to stay interesting.
But it wasn’t until 1989 that we first got to see Batman in live action. If you ask us, it was a bold decision by the makers of the Batman franchise to put a Caucasian actor in the role of a dark-skinned character. There are many factors that could have influenced this decision. Maybe the directors wanted to show us a completely new side of Batman. Or perhaps the creators thought that with a white Batman, it would be easier for viewers to identify with him. Whatever the case may be, Batman’s been white ever since. And while some might argue that it hasn’t harmed the character, it hasn’t exactly helped either.
Why The New Batman Has To Be Different
The Batman franchise has always been a bit of a oddity in the superhero community. While other characters are often associated with a single movie, the Batman series has had an incredible amount of variety in both its storylines and its settings. From the serious to the silly, from the comic books to the television series, from the movies to the games, Batman has always kept us on our toes. And for that, we’re thankful. In general, audiences have responded well to this variety, with the Batman franchise holding the record for the most profitable and most popular comic book series of all time. So at the risk of spoiling something for you, if you haven’t watched it yet then why not try out one of the other Batman video games that have been released throughout the years? You might just find that they’re as good as the old classics.
But even if you’ve played the other games, there’s still something special about the new Batman. First off, let’s talk about the obvious. Robert Pattinson is just perfect for the part. Not only do we get to see Bat-fangasm come to life, but he also brings a certain charm to the role that we haven’t really seen before. At times he’s serious, trying to be the exact opposite of Bruce Wayne, but most times he’s just joking around, showing off his adorable laugh. And when the situation demands it, he can turn serious. Does this mean that we’ll never see Matt Damon play Batman again? We think not. As long as Robert Pattinson continues to act, the Dark Knight will continue to be a delight to watch and read about. And we can’t think of a better person to play him. Can you?
The Mysterious And Expensive ‘Bat-Nipple’
The main reason that we’re bringing this up is because there was a time when we didn’t know what this thing was that Batman was nibbling on. It wasn’t until a little later on in the movie that we learned what it was. A bat-nipple. A nipple from a bat? Could it be? Is he really bathing in cash? Could he be drinking blood out of a human skull?
While these might be interesting theories, the truth is that Batman’s got a lot more fun activities to indulge in besides getting wet and wild. The new Batman video shows that the Dark Knight has a bit of a sexual harassment case hanging over his head. A character named Harley Quinn was obsessed with Batman and tried to have him arrested on multiple occasions. This resulted in Batman hiring her as a live-in assistant, much to the annoyance of Officer James Gordon. Gordon is the father of Stephanie, one of the main characters in the TV show Stephanie which features her attempting to follow in her father’s footsteps as a policeman.
There’s also the case of Bruce Wayne, El Dorado and Black Orchid, which all involve Batman trying to save young women from being murdered. He’s even been accused of raping one of his own employees, creating further strife in the already chaotic Batman family. These are the types of allegations that can seriously damage an actor’s chances of getting an ‘A’ A rating from the MTA (Motion Picture Association) if the allegations are proven to be true. So if you’re worried about your cinematic A listing, then maybe you shouldn’t be going around exposing yourself like this.
Robert Pattinson’s Nude Photos Leaked: Does He Wear Nothing But Lingerie Elsewhere?
If you thought that Robert Pattinson was wearing a swimsuit the whole time in the new Batman movie, then you’d be mistaken. Turns out that the actor is very fond of taking his clothing off, for both on- and off-screen. While we can’t say whether or not he has other wardrobe malfunctions, we can confirm that he does indeed go au naturelle quite often. And when he does, he tends to go for something classic and feminine.
The good news is that he seems to have learned his lesson, as his leaked nude photos from a hidden camera trap showcase a fully dressed Pattinson. It looks like he’s carrying on from where he left off in Batman and going for a more conventional look. This is a far cry from Twilight where he seemed to be dressing in clothing that was only half-covered, if at all. Perhaps the success of the New Moon sequel (which was financially profitable compared to Eclipse) emboldened him to dress in more practical clothing. Whatever the reason, it looks like we won’t be seeing Pattinson wearing SPANDEX anytime soon.
If you’ve been debating whether or not to watch Batman this year, then we recommend giving it a go. As long as Robert Pattinson keeps acting, we know that we’ll keep getting to see something new and exciting from the Dark Knight.