You’re walking down the isle, hands full of floral leis and candy florals, when who should pop up beside you but your very own personal Rob? You’re about to find out what happens when you click’send’ on a sexting app and reality suddenly meets pornography. With just a few keystrokes, your ex-boyfriend has been transformed into a vivid, close-up sexual fantasy. Let’s be honest, when your significant other breaks up with you, the last thing you need is more rejection. But once the wedding photos have been taken off of Instagram, your heart will heal and you’ll be ready to move on with your life. Here’s what you need to know to come out of this whole ordeal unscathed.
Create A Fake Facebook Profile
Let’s be realistic, you’re going to need a new digital persona, and fast. Scouring the internet for the perfect profile doesn’t take long; you’ll spend more time admiring yourself than crafting a flawless digital alter ego. There are several steps you can take to make sure people don’t connect the two of you:
- Create a fake Facebook profile
- Set up a username that doesn’t match your real name
- Don’t use your real phone number
- Avoid posting pictures of yourself in your natural environment
- Include only the essentials – a profile picture, cover picture, and basic details
Create A Fake Instagram Account
Instagram is a bit more complicated, mainly because there are multiple ways to find people. You have the option to use an Instagram account that automatically finds and connects you with people in your area. If you want to keep things more discreet, you can create a fake Instagram account using a different email address than you use for your real Instagram account. This is something that Google makes easy with their ‘Verified’ check mark. When you’re creating a new Instagram account, be sure to use a different phone number than the one associated with your existing account. If you use the same number for both, then every time you log in, you’ll be asked to verify your identity. This is a painless process and one that you should do for your own sake. Remember, you’re not alone in this world, and there are plenty of people who have your best interest at heart. Being ‘verified’ on Instagram means that you are a legitimate account that people can believe in. Using a fake profile on this popular social media website is a guaranteed way to make everyone think you’re a sleazy stalker. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt your chances of getting hitched – just don’t let it happen at your sister’s wedding.
Dress To Impress
First of all, let’s be real; you’re probably not going to look exactly like the perfect princess that Instagram tells you to be. However, that’s not the point. You’re going to wear something that makes you feel confident and beautiful, and that’s what matters.
There are so many wonderful dresses out there, and you’re going to find something that flatters you. What’s important is that you feel beautiful and that you know where you should sit and how you should behave. This is something that you should learn from Princess Margaret – always be true to your class, your stature, and your station. Never show up in something vulgar or low-class, and try to impress people with your poise and your grace.
Always Have An Escape Plan
What if your sister’s wedding turns out to be a total disaster and you don’t even care to go home afterward? What if your fake Instagram account gets hacked and the world discovers your dirty little secret? Are you prepared to handle all of this? The fact is, no one is indispensable; we’re all replaceable. You’re going to have to find a way to protect yourself, and that means creating a plan B and C. Always have a fallback position, and make sure that you’re covered, no matter what happens. People will try to take advantage of you if they see you as weak, so it’s imperative that you don’t provide them with a single reason to do so. You have a lot to lose, so be sure to protect yourself accordingly.
You’re going to face many challenges throughout your life, and getting married is no different. What you need to focus on is how you’re going to handle these challenges – will you be able to keep your cool and remain level-headed, or will you let your emotions get the best of you? It’s not easy being independent, but you’re going to have to grow a pair and stop being a damsel in distress if you want to make it through this world intact. And for the love of God, don’t let your sister’s wedding be ruined by another woman. It’s so disrespectful to the bride and groom.