Yes, we know; you’re thinking that you might have seen the latest James Bond movie and were instantly transported back to the 1960s. But trust us, it’s not what we intend. After all, how many times have we told you: James Bond is NOT funny. Or, for that matter, James Bond is NEVER serious. And we mean it. It is, in fact, a running joke between us that we keep harping on this point. So, please, let’s laugh at James Bond’s misfortune for a change. Here comes an important message.
Bob Marley Is Still Alive
For those of you who are under the mistaken impression that James Bond is in the entertainment business, let’s set the record straight. James Bond is in the assassination business. That’s right, James Bond is a killer, and his weapon of choice is… drumroll please… a keyboard. So you see, he kills people with music. Or, in other words, James Bond is a songwriter. Not surprisingly, given his iconic status as a musician, producer, and songwriter, Marley is often featured in the latest James Bond movie. So, in case you were wondering, yes, Bob Marley is alive and well and very much involved with the James Bond franchise. He’s even starring in a forthcoming film, titled SKINNED.
The Only Thing We Care About Is What’s In It For Us
It’s no secret that we have a certain fascination with the rich and famous. Maybe it’s because we’re never really sure what makes them tick or maybe it’s just because we’re secretly envious of their lifestyle. Whatever the case may be, it means that we inevitably end up reading celebrity gossip, looking up their latest news story, or refreshing their Instagram page on a weekly basis. But, here’s the thing: as much as we might like to pretend that we’re interested in what happened to Kate Middleton or Meghan Markle, the truth is, we’re not. At least not primarily. Maybe if it’s something truly fascinating like a sex tape or a list of the most luxurious items they own, then we might have some interest. But otherwise, we’re more likely to be caught up in the drama of a celebrity break-up or the ridiculousness of a racist rant by Donald Trump. (And don’t get us started on the whole #metoo movement.)
When it comes to following the rich and famous, we’re more likely to be impressed by how they deal with the haters and the naysayers than we are by what they do. Because what’s important to us is not that they’re famous, but that they provide good content. (Don’t get us wrong, we love a good celeb story as much as the next person, but it has to be attached to a decent premise.) And when it comes to James Bond, that means he has to be entertaining. Because ultimately, that’s all we care about. As long as he’s not causing harm to innocent people or disrespecting other cultures, we’re cool with whatever he does. So long as it has entertainment value.
Do You Even Lift?
Let’s be honest, not many of us can pull off wearing a tuxedo at a disco birthday party. But that’s exactly what Sean Connery, the current James Bond, is doing in SKINNED. Of course, we know that Connery is not actually wearing a tuxedo in the film. But it is possible to look like you’re wearing a tuxedo even when you’re wearing something more practical. Like a sports jersey or a crew neck sweater. We just don’t think that Sean Connery looks that cool in a t-shirt. Especially since he’s usually sweating profusely during his screen time. It’s like, wouldn’t it be cooler if he was actually wearing something that said “Bond” or “007” on it? We can dream, right?
007 Is A Lifestyle Brand
Do you ever wake up in the morning just to discover that your hair has a life of its own and decided to go for a 90s vibe all day long? If so, congratulations; you’re a part of the 007 lifestyle. We don’t mean the movie franchise, we mean the lifestyle brand inspired by James Bond. It’s cool, because it’s an everyday occurrence for us. We wake up, excited about the possibilities, but in the meantime our hair is transforming itself into a matted afro. After much pleading, we finally get down to business and start applying product, only to find out that it was never going to work for us. It was sort of like trying on a swimsuit that doesn’t fit. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s definitely not what we had in mind when we woke up this morning.
Slimming Down
It is well known among fans of the James Bond franchise that the actor, Robert Pattinson, struggles with his weight. We’re not just talking about average weight gain here; he’s literally struggled with anorexia and bulimia. For those of you who are unfamiliar, anorexia and bulimia are eating disorders that cause the sufferer to obsess over food and dieting. For some, it can be a way of life. As a result of this, Robbie spends a lot of time in the gym working out and trying to maintain a certain figure. And it shows; he has never looked better. In fact, he’s even dating a fitness guru at the moment. Which is great, because it seems that working out with a personal trainer is helping him stay motivated.
Sexy Is Not A Four-Letter Word
What do you say when you meet someone and you immediately feel like you’ve known them for years, even though you just met them a few hours ago? Do you call them handsome, beautiful, or sexy? We always think of Richard Simmons when we say “sexy”, because he was very, very sexy. And it’s not just because he had the nickname “The Godfather of Bodybuilding” either. When it comes to the James Bond franchise, it’s fair to say that the series has always been associated with a certain sense of masculinity, which is not always a bad thing. For example, when it comes to female characters, they are almost always portrayed as objects of desire, or at least as people to be reckoned with, but never as equals. And let’s be honest, that’s kind of how it is in real life too. Despite all of this, the James Bond series has always been pretty progressive when it comes to gender roles too. Take, for example, “Live And Let Die,” a film which, by most accounts, was one of the first to feature a predominantly female cast. In the film, a group of women – including an MI6 agent and an assassin – band together to take down a notorious drug lord. Or how about “The Man With the Golden Gun,” in which a group of women, led by Venetia Scott, also known as “The Living Statue,” orchestrate an elaborate plot to assassinate the president. For a film series that is mostly associated with male icons, this level of inclusivity should not be ignored. In today’s world, it is important to recognize that there is often a double standard when it comes to gender roles, and it is time for this to end.
Shooting Stars
Shooting stars are magical; they’re bright and they’re quick. Not many people have the talent to pull off a real life version of a shooting star effect. But it’s not just a matter of talent, it takes a little bit of luck too. Case in point, the one and only Apolo Ohno. Apolo is an incredibly talented baker who happened to be the nephew of one of the owners of the restaurant chain, Papa John’s. When he was just a kid, he would go to the bakery every day after school, and he would watch the chefs making pizzas and cinnamon rolls and other baked goods. Pretty soon, he was showing up everyday too and decided to join the team. He didn’t just cook, he became an owner. And now, many years later, he’s still going strong. Although he does have to work extra hours, he manages to pull off these perfect sunsets and sunrises because he knows what makes them special. So, in case you were wondering, yes, it’s possible to become an owner of a restaurant franchise just by showing up and being friendly. It just takes a little bit of luck. And maybe a love for baking. Or at least, for the taste of baking. Because believe it or not, smelling and tasting are two very different things. One could argue that it’s even better when they’re together. And speaking of smells, what’s better than the smell of freshly baked bread coming from an oven? It’s like the smell of victory; deep down inside, we know that what we are about to eat will satisfy us.