Ladies and gentlemen, let’s talk about the tabloids.
No, not those annoying printed media that float around in a mess in the shape of a tabloid magazine. Let’s instead focus on the glorious digital versions that appear on our phones, tablets, and laptops.
Now, you might be thinking that you’ve seen enough of these tabloid videos and images popping up on your social media feeds to last you a lifetime. But believe it or not, there’s more where that came from. If you Google “Robert Pattinson” and “penis,” you’ll get over 300,000 results. That’s not counting the millions of identical images that appear on various websites across the globe when you type in “Robert Pattinson” and “penis.”
So it would seem that the entire world knows about the size of Robert Pattinson’s penis. Which is odd, because up until now, the only person who really knew is Robert Pattinson himself. That changed on Monday, December 24, 2017, when the world’s media got the chance to examine his genitals in detail.
The New York Times Magazine
On December 24, 2017, The New York Times published a major piece on the 25-year-old actor and singer. The piece was dubbed “The Emperor of Emojis” and focused on his prolific use of social media and selfie culture.
The article opens by noting that Pattinson has “grown accustomed to the public eye” and that “having a large social media following has become an essential part of his existence.”
The piece goes on to explore the impact that social media has had on his personal and professional life. Specifically, the role that selfies and other forms of social media images have played in establishing his celebrity.
The NYT piece is definitely worth reading in its entirety. But if you want to get a quick overview of the piece, here’s an excerpt:
An Important Piece Of Feedback
“I think anyone would agree that there has been a lot of bad press about me in the past, which I think has been really unfair,” Pattinson said in an email. “I never really felt that I had to hide my sexuality or fan base from the media, although of course it was always in the back of my head that maybe that wasn’t the best strategy. So I think that anytime someone decides to write an article about you, it’s always going to be negative. It’s just a fact.”
Pattinson added: “I try not to let it bother me or define me. I’ve learned to just laugh it off.”
That last line is the important one. Instead of getting upset about all the negative press or trying to downplay it with a joke, Pattinson simply laughs it off. That’s huge. It takes a lot of courage to be able to do that. I think that if more people could learn to do that, the world would be a much better place. It would also likely reduce the number of fake news pieces that appear online.
A Brief History Of The Rumors
The most recent round of tabloid speculation about Pattinson came after he shared a kiss with his friend, singer Stella McCartney on Instagram. The kiss, which took place earlier this year at an art exhibit in London, was quickly followed by rumors that the two were romantically involved.
McCartney took to Instagram to deny the rumors, writing: “I’m happy to say that I am not in a committed relationship with Robert. Our kiss at the end of the season premiere of Good Omens was platonic. I wish him all the happiness in the world.”
Pattinson then confirmed that he and McCartney had indeed shared a romantic kiss, but also added that he’s “still [not] ready to commit.”
McCartney has yet to respond to Pattinson’s comment. It wouldn’t be the first time that she refused to address the rumors about her and the Twilight actor, as she did the same thing with their former co-star, Kristen Stewart.
It’s Not Just About The Rumors
The truth is that even if Robert Pattinson denied the rumors about him and McCartney, the media would still find a way to talk about the size of his penis. That’s because our culture has a long history of scrutinizing male genitalia. It’s simply considered normal for people to check out a man’s junk in order to determine his masculinity.
So while it’s important to verify the rumors about Pattinson and McCartney, it’s also important to remember that people have been speculating about the size of his penis since the 1990s. In fact, the rumors about the pair were first published in a British tabloid in 1995, which was nearly 20 years before the New York Times published its piece exploring his celebrity.
That’s a long time. During that time, Pattinson has become a prominent actor and musician, winning an Academy Award for Best Actor. He has also become one of the world’s most popular and recognizable men. In other words, the way that people perceive him is already somewhat shaped by the way that the media has portrayed him over the years. That’s a lot of pressure. But at least he’s learned to handle it.
So How Big Is His Penis?
If you’re one of the millions of people who’ve Googled “Robert Pattinson” and “penis,” then you already know the answer to this question. But if you’re curious about how big Robert Pattinson’s penis is, the answer is…pretty big. Like, really big. When the world gets a chance to see his junk in all its glory, it will surely be an even bigger surprise than it was the first time around.