Robert Pattinson’s penis has been the talk of the media world since news broke that the Twilight star was involved in a car accident back in July. His penis was photographed with a significant bruise on it, but the world didn’t find out about it until several weeks later when a paparazzi surreptitiously photographed the injured member and posted it online. Since then, the internet has been flooded with theories, gossip, and speculation about what actually happened to Rob’s penis in that accident. Here’s the truth about his scandalous penis.
Rob’s Penis Wasn’t In The Picture Pre-Accident
Before news broke of his car accident, Rob was already a well-known sex symbol. With his blond hair and blue eyes, the English actor is certainly photogenic, and the fact that he’s a walking cliché in the cinematic realm didn’t hurt his popularity either. In the years prior to his accident, the 31-year-old actor had already filmed a number of steamy scenes in which he bared all. Most notably, he played Cedric Diggory in the very first Harry Potter film. For those unfamiliar, Cedric is a character who dies during the events of the first film, and before his untimely death, he’s shown having an intense, intimate night with Voldemort’s nemesis, Harry Potter. It was a powerful display of acting prowess, and it didn’t hurt that the part was extremely underplayed.
Aside from his cinematic success, Rob’s popularity soared thanks to his close relationship with Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart. The two were often photographed together, and it wasn’t long before fans started referring to them as “boyfriend and girlfriend.” Unfortunately, their celebrity status had negative connotations as well. As fansite Moonyscoop points out, while men may find Rob attractive, women are often put off by his bad boy aura. That’s not to say he doesn’t have fans, though. As previously mentioned, Rob’s relationship with Potter star Emma Watson also generated a significant fan base, and his photo-op with Prince William back in 2014 also attracted a crowd.
The Car Accident
On July 24th, 2017, Rob was driving in a remote part of England when his car was rear-ended. The impact was such that the entire car was pushed into oncoming traffic, where it was totally crushed. Thankfully, no one was hurt seriously in the accident. The following day, British police announced that no charges would be filed, and in fact, the driver of the other car would not face any consequences for the accident either. It was later revealed that the other driver’s car had faulty tires, and it was his lack of attention to the task at hand that caused the accident.
Immediately after the accident, Rob went into a nearby bush to relieve himself. The incident was later described as “pretty traumatic” by the actor himself. While he was in the bushes, Rob’s body was discovered by a dog walker. As you might imagine, the image of an exposed penis caused a global conversation about the accident, much to Rob’s chagrin. The following day, it was confirmed that the accident had indeed caused Rob to lose one of his testicles. In fact, the injury was so severe that it required surgery. Thankfully, the surgery went well and Rob soon returned to filming. While he’s been very open about the accident and how it affected him, he’s remained strangely terse about the details of the crash. The accident remains under investigation, but no new information has yet to emerge.
Rumors And Gossip
After the car accident, the spotlight understandably fell on Rob. As if his private parts weren’t already in the public consciousness before the accident, the pictures of Rob’s bruised penis that surfaced online made it even more so. Not surprisingly, the Internet soon became saturated with rumors and speculation about what really happened. While some were suggesting that Rob had been trying to lose weight and therefore wasn’t wearing his underwear, others said that he’d suffered from testicular cancer and had decided to have testicles removed. Still others claimed that he was intentionally trying to hurt himself to get away from Kristen Stewart, who he was cheating on with an unnamed woman. Of course, these theories were just that—theories—and none of them have been confirmed by any official source (at least not yet).
Some fans have gone above and beyond the call of duty in trying to unravel the truth about Rob’s accident. For example, fansite BellatrixLunnufan is known for its extensive research, which it has conducted into the matter. One of its members, Emily, has spent several months tracking down every single detail about Rob’s accident, piece by piece. As the Inquisitr reported, she’s even managed to unearth information that the police and the media have overlooked. So far, her research has led her to believe that the accident was actually a set up, and that Rob’s nemesis, Harry Potter, was behind it all. BellatrixLunnufan’s conclusion is that the magical Harry Potter is to blame, and has used his sorcery to bend the will of nature and make Michael Fishwick, the man walking his dog, crush Rob’s vehicle. After finding out about Rob’s accident, Emily began researching its history, and in the process, uncovered several other cases in which Harry Potter was involved, including one in which he appears to have killed another driver. According to Emily, Harry Potter is a practitioner of black magick who is attempting to bring about the Second Coming of Christ. Through his meddling, Rob’s accident was apparently part of a plan to do away with Christianity and bring about the end of the world as we know it. While there is no definitive proof that Harry Potter is responsible for any of these incidents, the fact that he keeps popping up in relation to Rob is certainly intriguing.
For those who believe that Rob was indeed wearing pants when the accident occurred, there’s still more. According to an insider who asked not to be identified, the injury to Rob’s penis wasn’t the only one he sustained in the crash. As the above-linked magazine points out, it’s suspected that he also broke his arm in the accident, though it’s not confirmed. If that’s true, it would explain why he hasn’t been able to shake off the pain, even though he returned to filming soon after the accident. In fact, he may still be a little bit sore from the crash, nearly five months later. While it’s tempting to think that Rob’s injury was the result of reckless driving, it’s more likely that it’s just bad luck. To prove his innocence, Rob may have to settle for some good luck charms. If nothing else works, he’ll just have to get naked and do a striptease for the tabloids. In the meantime, let’s enjoy the fact that he’s still got both testicles. We’re just glad they weren’t in the other car.