Is Robert Pattinson really crying? The 28-year-old British actor and musician is best known for his movie roles in the Twilight series, where he plays protagonist Edward Cullen. In the first film, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, he sported a beautiful full beard, but now that he’s shaved for the rest of the movies, it’s fair to say that he doesn’t look like he’s living his best life.

It’s not that the British hunk is unhappy with his life or career. In fact, he recently opened up about his struggles with mental illness and substance abuse, which are common themes in many of his interviews.

Most recently, he opened up about his battles with depression in a stunning interview with Vogue, in which he spoke about trying to understand the condition and how he’s approached it throughout his life. The publication called him “a brilliant, funny, and deeply insightful man who is also battling mental illness.”

“I was doing cocaine and alcohol when I was 19. It was a really bad time,” he said. “I think I was struggling with depression, and I had a lot of anxiety. I was trying to figure out who I was, and it wasn’t easy.”

He continued, “I tried to kill myself. I was in the hospital for a while, and, yeah, it was a scary time.”

While there’s no doubt that Pattinson’s mental illness has helped make him who he is today, it hasn’t been without its challenges. He revealed in his Vogue interview that he still struggles with depression, especially when he feels like he’s not in control of his emotions or his professional life. “It’s the black dog that pops up every now and then,” he said. “But I’m working on it. I have my good days and bad days like everyone else.”

Pattinson also admitted that he has an “unhealthy relationship” with alcohol, which he blames in part on his mental illness. “When I was 15, my mental health wasn’t great, and I started drinking and taking drugs to self-medicate,” he told Vogue. “Since then, I’ve tried to stop taking them both, but I still drink. I think that’s unhealthy.”

The English hunk has been open about his emotional struggles before, first revealing in 2013 that he had been hospitalized for depression. “I was really down,” he said at the time. “I’d had a tough start to the year, and then I got really upset about my grandmother’s death. She was a massive inspiration to me. It just hit me Hard. I was in the back of my car, and it just started pouring down.”

That same year, he also opened up about his battles with addiction, revealing that he had been hospitalized for alcohol intoxication, as well as trying to take his own life. He attributed these dark periods to his mental illness. “I’ve had a rough ride with alcohol,” he told GQ in 2013. “I’ve been through detox, rehab, and all that stuff. In the past, a lot of that time was spent drinking. I got in a lot of trouble, but I don’t anymore. That’s what makes me happy. I feel like I can look back and be proud of who I am today.”

While he’s been open about his mental health issues, it seems that he’s kept his substance abuse issues private. In 2015, he told Vanity Fair that he had “been clean for a while,” and at the time, he attributed his sobriety to “a combination of things. I’ve been really lucky.”

In 2018, he told The Guardian that he had relapsed and was trying to get back on track. “Last year was a bit of a downer, to be honest,” he said. “I’d been clean for a while, and then at the end of last year, I started drinking again. I’m only human. It wasn’t a perfect year. It was really hard work, and I didn’t see many highlights.”

He has since then stayed sober, and in December 2019, he celebrated a milestone 1,000 days without alcohol with a post on Instagram, thanking his fans for their support during his struggle.

“This past year was a tough one,” he wrote. “It was hard work, but I’m so glad that I stuck to my new routine, because it made a massive difference. I couldn’t believe the difference that one year made. For me, this year was about finding myself again and being comfortable in my own company. I had a good relationship with alcohol in the past, but I don’t anymore. I look back at old photos of me when I was drinking, and I cringe.”

Pattinson’s Emotional Journey

Depression is a common theme in many of his interviews. In the Vogue interview, he touched upon this topic in several different ways. He started by talking about his grandmother, who he described as “the strongest person I know.”

“She had an incredibly strong legacy. She was the matriarch of the Cullen family, and she raised five kids who all became successful and amazing people,” he said. “Now that she’s gone, it’s a struggle not to live up to her expectations. Grandma Louisa would be so proud of me, and I know that she would take this struggle in her stride.”

Pattinson then discussed how he is approaching mental illness in his own life. “I’ve been lucky enough to get to a place in my life where I can look back and feel proud of who I am today,” he said. “I had some dark days, but I battled through them. I still continue to battle them, and sometimes I lose, but I learn from losing. I think that’s the key to getting through this life alive.”

Pattinson then shared his thoughts about why he has chosen to be open about his struggles with depression and anxiety. “I feel like it’s important to be vulnerable,” he said. “Sometimes we keep things inside for so long, and then, when we finally do come out, it’s not always easy. Having people understand and support you through this is so important. I’ve always been very honest about my mental health, and I feel like it’s helped a lot. It’s allowed me to be myself more, and I don’t feel like I have to hide or be strong for people. I can be emotional, and they’ll still see me as an interesting character.”

Despite the fact that he has spoken openly about his mental illness, it seems that he still struggles with depression. In his Vogue interview, he addressed this directly. “I was doing cocaine and alcohol when I was 19,” he said. “It was a really bad time, and I think I was struggling with depression, and I had a lot of anxiety. I was trying to figure out who I was, and it wasn’t easy.”

He continued, “I tried to kill myself. I was in the hospital for a while, and, yeah, it was a scary time.”

Perhaps it’s this struggle that has made him so open about his emotions. While he may not be as prone to publicly display his feelings as some of his contemporaries, his candid interviews give us a glimpse into his private life. In the Vogue interview, he talked about the moment that he knew he had to change the way that he was living his life. It was after he visited a sober living facility in Paris for a movie premiere. He told the publication that he was able to see first-hand how his lifestyle was affecting others, and it made him realize that he had to change something.

“There were people there who were just like me. They had gotten into bad habits, and it just made me realize that I needed to sort of walk away from the darkness,” he said. “I think that’s what helped me the most. It was a wake-up call. It was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life.”

Is Robert Pattinson really crying? The 28-year-old British actor and musician is best known for his movie roles in the Twilight series, where he plays protagonist Edward Cullen. In the first film, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, he sported a beautiful full beard, but now that he’s shaved for the rest of the movies, it’s fair to say that he doesn’t look like he’s living his best life.