Most of us have had that moment. Perhaps you walked into the room and saw a person who instantly stole your heart. Perhaps you met at a party and had a one-night stand that left you wondering if there was more. Maybe you met online and fell for each other’s charms. No matter how you met, you both had a feeling that you were supposed to be together, and you’ve spent the last year trying to figure out how to make it work.
Love at First Sight is a real thing, and according to a brand new study, it’s actually quite common. The study, which focused on 1,200 newlyweds and also included 50 heterosexual non-dating participants, asked them about their first impressions of their significant others. Researchers found that 57% of the newlywed couples reported that their first impressions of each other were positive, while 43% had neutral and 1% had a negative first impression.
Additionally, the study found that nearly 70% of the newlywed couples said that they knew right away that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. And what’s more, 69% reported that their feelings of love for each other were very similar to how they felt when they first met. So it would seem that love at first sight is as real as it gets.
The Dark Side of Love at First Sight
But what is love at first sight, exactly? Is it a feeling that plagues newlywed couples every day or do we just get lucky sometimes? Is it something that everyone experiences or is it something that only certain people experience? Is it all sunshine and rainbows or does it have a dark side?
According to the study, there was a connection between having a positive first impression of one’s spouse and committing acts of infidelity. About 79% of the husbands and 56% of the wives in the study committed adultery. Additionally, about 44% of the spouses said that their feelings of lust were also a part of their first impressions. So, it would seem that there is more than one side to love at first sight. It can be both wonderful and horrible, depending on how you look at it.
Additionally, the study found that only 16% of the participants had a good first impression of their spouse but had no intention of having an affair. This is probably because they were scared that their spouse would find out about their secret plan and it would blow up in their faces. So, it seems that not everyone is capable of having a love at first sight experience. Some people need more time to get to know each other while others need to be incredibly careful not to let any secrets slip or their love at first sight will become its opposite.
The Evolution Of Love At First Sight
What happens over the years as a couple gets to know each other? Do their feelings change? Do they grow together as a unit or apart? Are they still in love after years of being married? Are their feelings toward each other as they are now different from how they were when they first met?
To find out, the study looked at the pre-marriage relationships of the participants and how those relationships changed over the years. The results were fascinating. For example, 50% of the participants said that their feelings of lust had decreased a great deal while only 11% reported an increase, and 29% said their feelings of lust were the same as when they first met. So, it would seem that while some people experience a transformation over the years, others don’t.
Additionally, the participants said that their feelings of love had increased a great deal, particularly for their wives (60% said it had increased a lot, 11% said it had stayed the same, and 29% said it had decreased a lot). This, of course, could mean that the participants are simply expressing what they feel their wives want to hear but it could also suggest that they have indeed morphed from lovers to partners, or at least to friends with benefits.
Although it would be great to have a fairytale ending and find out that your soul mate is none other than the person you’ve been looking for all your life, it would be best if you prepared for the reality that maybe this isn’t exactly how it will go down. So, even if you feel like you have a good feeling about a certain person, it would be wise to take that feeling with a grain of salt. You might just be fooling yourself.
To end on a more positive note, the study also looked at how participants rated their marriages compared to when they first met. The results were quite positive, with 79% of the participants saying their marriages were better than when they first met and 17% saying they were about the same. So, perhaps it’s best to look at this from another angle: Even if your relationship has flaws and uncertainties, it’s still considered a success if you see it as a positive learning experience and you’re both willing to work through it. Just be sure to prepare for the fact that it might not be easy and that you will make mistakes. But then, that’s what makes it all the more interesting.