I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and New Year! 2019 started off well with plenty of snow and cold weather. This is not ideal for a romantic comedy! One of the things I love most about this year is that it’s the 10th anniversary of one of my favourite romantic comedies: Chav quotes.

The film stars Robert Pattinson (of Robbie Robinson fame) as Charles Chav II, the arrogant and charming son of a wealthy London builder (played by Michael Caine). The younger Chav makes a bet with his father that he can get a woman to sleep with him in under a week. Naturally, his father chooses a young and beautiful socialite named Daphne (played by Catherine Zeta-Jones) as the test subject. She agrees to go out with him and even sleeps with him the first night. However, Daphne is a bit of a free spirit and rebuffs Charles’ advances, causing him to lose the bet and become a changed man.

In honor of Chav quotes’s 10th anniversary, here are some incredibly motivational, romantic, and comedic quotes from the film.

‘You are never too old to be beautiful.’

The very first line of Chav quotes is spoken by Catherine Zeta-Jones to Michael Caine’s character, who is playing Charles Chav II. Charles Chav II is an arrogant and charming son of a wealthy London builder who makes a bet with his father that he can get a woman to sleep with him in under a week. The film is based on David Nicholls’ 2013 novel of the same name, which is about a young man named Charlie who sets out to seduce as many women as he can. At first, it seems like Charles Chav II will easily win his bet with his father, who funds his new lifestyle as a playboy. But then Daphne, the woman he chooses to sleep with, proves to be more clever than he is and betrays his secret. The film also stars Rosie Park, James Franco, Emilia Clarke, Richard Gere, and Helen Mirren.

‘Love conquers all.’

One of the first lines that you will hear in Chav quotes is spoken by Sir John Foster, a rather pompous Englishman who spends a great deal of his time trying to impress other people and often makes condescending comments about other cultures and their ways. He even refers to the recently deceased great Queen VICTORIA as “that woman”; at one point, he refers to Charles Chav II’s mother, Lady Chav (played by Helen Mirren), as “your mother”.

Sir John Foster is a classic case of narcissistic personality disorder, and it is very easy to see why his daughter, Barbara (played by Emilia Clarke), would end up marrying him. He spoils Barbara and makes her feel like a princess, which is something that he can’t even do for himself. He also believes that he’s better than everyone else, which he expresses through insulting others. It’s no surprise that Barbara ends up hating her father.

‘I like your perfume. Does it come in drops?’

Another line from Chav quotes comes from Barbara, the wife of Charles Chav II (played by Emilia Clarke). The scene starts with Sir John Foster berating his son-in-law for his poor social skills. After a rather nasty incident in which Charles Chav II calls Barbara a “bitch” and storms out of the room, Barbara decides to give her father a piece of her mind. She calls his chauffeur, Spencer (played by Richard Gere), in the hope that he will tell her father what a terrible man her husband is. Before he can answer, she continues:

“Spencer, does this man have something wrong with him? Why is he so rude to me? He frightens me. Does he come from an ambitious family? Is he spoiled? I want to know the truth about him because he isn’t who he seems to be. I have a feeling that he is up to no good. I like your perfume. Does it come in drops?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Then tell me more about it. Does it change when it reaches the skin? Does it have a powerful perfume? I want to try it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Does it make you feel like someone you have known before? Like a long-lost friend? I want to smell that perfume just once. I think it may even open doors to possibilities. The more I think about it, the more I like it.”

‘You are the most ungainly man I have ever seen.’

Another scene from Chav quotes shows Lady Chav scolding her obnoxious son, Charles Chav II, while his father looks on. She is talking about his lack of table manners and how he elbows people when he eats. At one point, she even asks him if he has ever heard of “involuntary servitude” and if he understands what it means. Naturally, this makes him even less appealing to women, as they begin to see him as a man unworthy of their attention. But she isn’t the only one who sees him in this way. The truth is he is seen as “unusual” by most people and even by himself. His only friend is his father’s manservant, Barry, who secretly admires and respects the young man. As he later reveals, he used to be in the RAF and had to endure many unpleasant situations, including having to eat potato pie in prison, because it’s all they had.

‘You are absolutely charming, aren’t you?’

And last but not least, let’s not forget about Daphne (played by Catherine Zeta-Jones) and Charles Chav II’s (played by Robert Pattinson) first date. It starts off rather cautiously as she tries to get to know him better. They begin by talking about their mutual passion for Jane Austen and her work. But then, as she gets to know him better, she realizes how much he doesn’t like talking about himself and his life. This makes him slightly less attractive to her. Even so, she decides to go out with him anyway because she thinks that he’s a good catch. She knows that his father will disapprove, but she can’t help but feel that she wants to defy him. As it turns out, her father does like him and approves of their relationship. So it seems that Lady Chav isn’t the only one who doesn’t “get” her son 🙂

Catherine Zeta-Jones won an Academy Award in 2018 for her role as Daphne in Chav quotes. The actress has played bit parts in several films, including the Lord of the Rings trilogies and The English Patient. More recently, she starred in the Netflix series, The Sexiest Man in Sci Fi, about a time-traveling computer scientist who attempts to seduce a number of beach beauties. 

It’s been 10 years since Chav quotes was first released, and it remains one of the most beloved romantic comedies of all time. Naturally, I hope this post has inspired you to go watch it again. Or for the first time. It’s one of the great comedies of all time.