There are some films that just refuse to leave our hearts, and the 2014 movie, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, is one of them. After the phenomenal success of Summit Entertainment’s The Twilight Saga, it was only a matter of time before the industry tried to cash in on the phenomenon. One of the first major projects to do so was a sexual tape featuring our favourite broody vampire, Robert Pattinson. While we were all eagerly anticipating a glimpse at the sex life of our favourite pale vampire, it was actually more cringe-worthy than we’d hoped for. In case you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t heard the rumours about Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson, here’s a quick recap:
The Rumours
Let’s be honest, the most entertaining part of the 2014 film, Eclipse, was watching the dynamic duo, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson, awkwardly fumble their way through a series of one-sided conversations, each more uncomfortable than the last. It was glorious. But those behind-the-scenes antics only told part of the story. Over the course of the last few months, various media outlets, including Fame, People, and most recently, CNET, have published articles speculating about the nature of the dynamic duo’s relationship. The consensus: it’s complicated. But it seems like Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson aren’t taking the rumours lightly. Through their representative, they’ve both taken the time to respond to the allegations, denying them completely. It seems like they’re both going to great lengths to avoid all of this getting out in the open. And who can blame them? It’d be pretty awkward if the world found out that you, Mr. Twilight, aren’t actually interested in girls at all.
The Tape
Those of us who’ve been following this saga from the beginning were eagerly anticipating a peek into Mr. Twilight’s lair. To some extent, we got our wish. While outtakes from the film have been kept under wraps, it wasn’t long before copies started circulating the internet. Naturally, we weren’t going to judge whether or not these two enjoyed themselves by watching it once. It was an opportunity to watch an entire romantic comedy, after all. And if it was funny or charming, we might just forgive them for what we’d all consider a major faux pas. But when it comes to matters of taste, the tape shows a side of Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson that we’re not completely comfortable with.
To begin with, Taylor Lautner‘s acting is, in a word, awful. But that’s not the point. The point is, it’s awful because it’s a performance, and that’s what acting is. It’s an art form. To accuse anyone of not enjoying themselves during a scene is ridiculous. It’s like saying that the Mona Lisa wasn’t having any fun because she was painting something that wouldn’t be considered fun to paint.
The problem is, we don’t know how much of the performance is real and how much is acting. It’s hard to tell sometimes, because what we have are outtakes from the scene, and while they might not be the best part of the tape, they don’t lie about what happened at all. Watching Taylor Lautner‘s awkward performance really does make you consider whether or not what you’re seeing is genuine.
On the subject of the supposedly authentic performance, it’s worth noting that when Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson were first paired together, it was a love match made in heaven. It seemed like they had a connection on a deeply personal level, even before they started working together. There were no signs of tension or awkwardness at all. And it’s not like they’re acting in a vacuum either, as the tape sheds more light on their relationship than any other part of the film. In fact, it’s often referred to as ‘the love letter from hell’ due to all the uncomfortable moments that make up most of the footage.
The Reactions
While we’re on the topic of the ‘authentic’ performance of Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson, let’s discuss the reactions of those who’ve seen the movie. To be clear, these are the sorts of people we’re referring to:
The first reaction that everyone seems to have is, ‘Wait, what happened in the movie? I don’t remember that at all.’ A fair point, because it’s supposed to be a romantic comedy, and not all that memorable as far as romantic comedies go. Still, it’s the thought that counts, and we’re sure that it counts for Mr. Twilight as well.
Another common reaction is, ‘Didn’t they already do this? And if it’s so funny, why isn’t it included in the movie?’ Again, a fair point. The outtakes from the film include some genuinely amusing scenes, and there are moments where you can tell that Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson are having fun. But what makes us wonder is whether or not the filmmakers had fun making the movie as well. Why not include all of the amusing scenes in the finished product? Especially since they could have used humour to great effect, including some very tasteful and un-PC jokes (that’s probably why they were cut). It’s like they were afraid to put all of this energy into the story and let the audience laugh at all the awkward moments. It just doesn’t feel right. Maybe it was a subconscious decision, and they genuinely didn’t enjoy themselves during the making of the film.
Then there are the oddball reactions, the ones that don’t really make sense. Like, ‘What’s the point of seeing this if it’s not going to be good?’ Or, ‘Why are they laughing? Is it supposed to be funny?’ These are the sorts of questions that people ask when they haven’t seen a comedy in a while and are genuinely clueless about what is and isn’t funny. We can understand where they’re coming from, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is an awkward and uncomfortable tape to watch. It’s funny, but it’s not something that you’d want to experience on a regular basis.
Some people have defended the movie, and we can see why. Despite its many flaws, Eclipse does feature some genuinely funny moments, and it was nice to see Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson able to work together on a comedy set. Also, the parts where Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson act like themselves are genuinely charming, and it’s not like we’re supposed to hate them for it. It just feels like an unnecessary risk to make such an intimate tape a part of the movie. It doesn’t feel right.
Takeaways
While it’s easy to point out the many flaws in the sexual tape, there are a few takeaways from it all. First of all, it reaffirms just how private these two are. It would be one thing if they’d kept all of this to themselves and didn’t want the world to see how they acted, but this is different. They’ve gone to great lengths to try and keep this personal, even going so far as to deny that it’s a sex tape. Regardless of whether or not you believe these two can genuinely act like themselves onscreen, it’s clear that they’re trying to keep things private. Secondly, it reveals a lot about our culture and how far we’ve come as a society. People were willing to buy tickets to see this movie, which is an indicator of just how much public interest there is in this relationship. But it also shows how much we value privacy and how uncomfortable we can be when something we’ve created becomes public. Finally, it shows how much these two care about each other. While the tape is incredibly uncomfortable to watch, it’s also filled with genuine emotion and affection. It would be a shame to see all of this disappear just because of some petty legal squabbling.