The experts’ take on what is endearing us to each other.
While some of us may be beset by crises that threaten our relationships (with friends, family and even significant others), there are others whose relationships seem to be going from strength to strength. Why? Perhaps because they are listening to the right professionals. Or is it that the good people are just that good?
Whatever the reason, this article is for you if you are one of the many relationships that seem to be thriving. You might even say that your partner is the best person you’ve ever known or ever will know. In that case, you’re in good company: the majority of Americans say that the key to a happy and healthy relationship is finding someone who “gets” you, and who you “get” too. According to a 2016 Love Life survey from Match, 73% of respondents said that being understood was the most important quality in a relationship; 59% said that trust was also key.
So, what makes for a good relationship? What are the essential ingredients to ensuring that your connection with your partner is as harmonious and enduring as possible? What advice do the experts offer about making your partnership work?
Make It About Understanding
To begin with, it’s important to have compatibility in terms of values and beliefs. In other words, you need to be on the same page with regards to what is important to you and your partner. Sometimes, this means that you need to examine your own personality and behavior and determine whether or not you’re a good fit for one another. For example, if you’re prone to feelings of low self-esteem, you might not always feel safe enough to express yourself or be yourself with your partner. In that case, you’re not quite ready for a commitment that deep. Or perhaps you value money too much, and your partner doesn’t. In that case, you’re not a perfect match either.
In general, when you’re searching for your perfect companion, whether you’re partnered or not, always keep in mind that you’re looking for someone who “gets” you. This means that your partner must be able to perceive you and your needs. They also need to be able to fulfill your needs. This is a tall order, but it ensures that you’re connecting with someone who is both reliable and trustworthy. Essentially, you’re looking for a friend, but better.
Be Mindful Of Your Partner’s Needs
Above all else, be mindful of your partner’s needs. This is critical if you want your relationship to thrive. What do you need to consider?
- Your partner’s needs for physical and emotional safety
- A need for affection and connection
- A need for intellectual stimulation
- A need for social connection
- A need for financial security
Of course, you also need to be mindful of your own needs. But if you want to build a sustainable and long-lasting relationship, you must put your partner’s needs first. It’s all about priorities, people. And make no mistake, a relationship that is dedicated to meeting its partner’s needs is a relationship that will last a lifetime. Just make sure that you’re both aware of your own needs and that you’re both committed to meeting one another’s needs.
Learn To Communicate
To form a lasting and durable partnership, you must be able to effectively communicate with one another. This is easier said than done, however. For starters, you have different life experiences, and these can make even simple tasks such as relating or interacting with your partner difficult. This is why it’s important to seek the help of a professional listener if you’re looking for advice on how to improve your relationship. A good listener will be able to assist you in articulating your needs and wants, as well as identify the underlying issues that may be causing you and your partner problems. Additionally, they can help you learn how to effectively communicate with one another. Finally, you can determine whether or not you’re a good fit for one another based on how well you communicate. When you can’t communicate effectively, it can be difficult to ensure that your needs are being met and that you’re each content within the relationship. It also makes it harder to improve your connection and have it last a lifetime.
Avoid Shallow Relationships
Above all else, be careful not to enter into a shallow relationship. Shallow relationships are ones that are based on physical attraction and are lacking in substance. Essentially, you’re trying to get sex or affection without having to commit to a deeper level of intimacy. While some people may find that this type of open relationship can be liberating, and help them explore new things, it’s important to remember that this doesn’t mean that you’ll automatically find fulfillment or happiness in your connection with your partner. If you want a long-term and durable relationship, it’s important to base your connection with your partner on something more substantial. Look for partners who will commit to you and who you will commit to. On the subject of sex, make sure to maintain some boundaries and safety measures. Otherwise, you could find yourself in a situation where you’re not prepared for or interested in having sex with your partner. This could lead to serious problems in your relationship.
Know Your Partner’s Strengths
Just as it’s important to be mindful of your own strengths and weaknesses, it’s important to know your partner’s strengths and weaknesses. This way, you can better assist them in achieving their goals and ensure that they’re not bearing the burden of responsibility alone. Sometimes, this can mean being a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold while your partner navigates their way through life. In some cases, it can mean being the person they turn to when they need someone to talk to or someone to help them work through a problem. Just be sure that you’re aware of your partners’ strengths and that you’re in a position to utilize them. This is especially important in relationships where one or both partners are feeling under-appreciated or unfulfilled. In these cases, it can be easy for either or both parties to feel disheartened and frustrated, which can lead to serious problems in the relationship. One of the primary causes of problems in relationships is that neither party is aware of the strengths of the other. So, make sure you identify these as well.
Take Responsibility
Finally, it’s important to take responsibility for your own actions and the actions of your partner. In other words, you must be able to admit when you’re wrong and say you’re sorry. Sometimes, this can be difficult. For example, if you’re an adult and your partner is a child, it can be hard to admit that you’re wrong or to show remorse. In these cases, it can be beneficial to seek the help of a mediator or counselor if you’re looking to improve your relationship. Just be sure to work through these difficulties and establish a healthier and stronger connection. This way, you can ensure that your partnership will be able to weather the storm and stand the test of time. And the experts say that standing the test of time is what makes a relationship lasting. So, be sure to work at it.
Above all else, be mindful of your relationship. Remember that it’s a journey, not a destination. Additionally, make sure you work hard to establish and maintain a healthy connection with your partner. Above all else, make sure to have fun!