Your baby’s parentage means the genetics of your child’s biological parents. Some couples choose not to disclose the gender of their baby’s father or mother so there is no need to worry about this either.
However, you must be careful about how you word things. The wrong phrase or sentence can come off as insulting or derogatory.
It Begins At The Start
Make sure you use the word “begin” when referring to your child’s parentage. This means the parents of your child were not necessarily together when they had him or her. For example, you could say, “My son began walking at eight months.” This is different from saying, “I discovered my son at eight months.” The first word gives off the impression that you are not actually his or her parent. This can cause hurt feelings or even resentment if the listener thinks you are attacking their parenting skills or manhood/womanhood.
It’s A Genuine Partnership
Another way to phrase it is, “It’s a genuine partnership.” This is a great way to put it because it shows that you understand the nature of the father-child relationship and you do not hold it against them. You respect their contribution even if they did not give birth to your child. This shows a higher level of maturity and humanity. It is also a good way to phrase it if you need to give a reason for the child’s existence. For example, you could say, “My son is a product of a genuine partnership.”
They Each Provide Important Contributions
Another way to phrase it is, “They each provide important contributions.” This is a complete sentence and it makes it clear what each parent brings to the table. It also shows that you see both of their sides. You acknowledge the good and bad things that each parent has done. This demonstrates a higher level of maturity and understanding.
If you decide that you do not want to disclose the gender of your baby’s father or mother, this is absolutely your choice. Just be sure that you do not put them in a position where they feel attacked or insulted in any way. If you have used “he” and “his” when referring to the baby’s father, you can swap them with “she” and “hers” when referring to the baby’s mother. This will not change the fundamental meaning of the sentence but it will make it less gender-specific.
Special Bond
You can also use the word “special” when referring to your child’s parentage. This shows that both parents are very involved in the upbringing of their child and that they have formed a strong bond. You can say, “My son has a special bond with his father.”
The important thing to note here is that you are not simply saying that the parent’s bond is special because they are parents. You have formed a bond with your child because they are individuals who have contributed to your child’s development in ways that you will value as you get older. This is a sign of healthy parent-child relationships and it is worth noting that you can only earn this sort of bond by being a good parent. A special bond with your child is a reflection of your own maturity and humanity.
A New Perspective
If you have been fortunate enough to have a female assistant who has helped you out while you were pregnant, you can describe the child’s parentage as, “It’s a girl! A girl with his arms around her! What a sight! It will be like having your arms around both of them.”
If you feel that this is too much information for someone to handle on their own, you can write out the words “father” and “mother” as if you were writing out a recipe. Then give them the ingredients and the order in which to mix them together. This is a great way to reveal the secret to someone who is interested but does not want to pry.
When describing your child’s parentage, use simple and direct language that is easy to understand. You can also add more information if you feel it will be beneficial. For example, you can explain that your baby has brown eyes because they are the result of his mother’s Mediterranean heritage or that he has a dimple on his right thigh because it is the mark of his father. You can write these things down and refer back to them as needed. Even if your listener does not understand every detail, they will still understand the general idea behind what you are saying.
Do not feel that you need to give an excuse for your child’s existence. In truth, you do not have to explain yourself to anyone. However, if you want to be extra careful about how you present yourself and your child to the world, it is a very good idea to come up with a story about how you came to be parents. Otherwise, it is perfectly acceptable to just say that you are parents and leave it at that. This is your child and this is your partner’s child, regardless of whether or not you had any intention of becoming parents when you got together. Your child is a unique individual and you are responsible for their well-being. Therefore, you must ensure that you provide them with a healthy and secure environment in which to grow up.