You’d never guess it from his glossy magazine covers, but the 27-year-old British actor is actually feeling rather emotional lately.

With the worldwide premiere of his latest film, The Rover less than two weeks away, Pattinson took the time to pen an emotional letter to fans, revealing his deep struggles as an adult, and tying them to his acting career.

An Open Letter To Fans

The actor recently shared his feelings on TikTok and revealed how much the role of Robert Pattinson in The Rover has meant to him. In a letter published on the platform, he opened up about his “rollercoaster” life and his ongoing battles with addiction, explaining, “As an actor, this is what I do – I put on a mask and get inside the head of a character. But this is not the same as living your life. My real life is a mess. It’s been a real struggle.”

Pattinson then went on to explain that while he doesn’t regret his life, he does wish that he could go back and change things. “I don’t feel like my life is complete. There are so many things that I want to do and be involved in, but I don’t think that I’ll ever have the chance to do them,” he wrote. The letter was posted on Twitter along with an image of Pattinson holding a copy of his first adult literary work, Down and Out in Beverly Hills (no relation to the 2014 film of the same name).

A Life On The ‘Rollercoaster’

The actor’s letter paints a touching picture of a person in the midst of a serious struggle with addiction, revealing how he first got involved in the vice, and how it nearly derailed his life. He wrote, “I remember being really happy, but also feeling a huge pressure to keep up with the lifestyle. You know the saying ‘all children should be brought up in luxury’? Well, that was never going to be me. I was always going to be the poor kid who didn’t get a Christmas present. I mean, I didn’t really buy into all that stuff. It was just image.”

Pattinson continued, “I grew up in a small town in the English countryside. I always had my nose in a book and went to a state school. I never even thought about partying or being social… I mean, I liked a drink now and then, but never made a big deal out of it. It wasn’t in my vocabulary. I had no idea what ‘binge drinking’ or ‘drinking to excess’ even meant.”

Things changed in 2002 when Pattinson – then 18 years old – landed his first leading role in the film, Watercube. The following year, he landed the part of Edward Cullen in the Twilight series. From there, his film career took off, with leading parts in movies such as Love &amp, Death &amp, Ape &amp, and several other noteworthy titles.

Pattinson closed his letter by reflecting on his good fortune in being able to pursue his acting career, and how he intends to spend the rest of his life pursuing his dreams. “I don’t know where my life will take me, but for now, I’m going to enjoy the ride,” he concluded.