Well, it depends on what you call a fan letter. If you read between the lines, you’ll discover that the majority of them are love letters from women. But, if you take into account all the letters in Rob’s inbox, you’ll discover that his fans really are quite diverse. Here, we’ll unpack the different types of love letters that Robert receives.
The Rejection Letters
As we discussed in the last article, Robert receives a lot of fan letters, most of which are quite romantic. But, sometimes he also gets letters from people who are dissatisfied with his reaction to their letters or, for some other reason, want to get back at him. You might call them the rejection letters. Here are a few examples of these letters:
Dear Robert, I feel like I’ve been waiting all my life to hear from you. When I read your new book, I realized that it’s you. All these years, I kept wondering if you were even real. Like those times you were in high school and you had a band. I remember seeing you play a couple of times. That was you. You were always by yourself, and yet there was something different about you. Even now, I can’t put my finger on it. But, I know I’m not mistaken. It’s you. The band was called The Beatles, and they were from England. And, now, here you are. I’m so happy! I have to admit that, even though I didn’t agree with a word you said in your book, I still bought it. I wanted to give you my heart but, for some reason, it wouldn’t work out with us. I still hope we can be friends. I’m attaching my resume below so that you can keep me in mind. Thank you for listening. Sincerely, Mandy
Now that you’ve read my letter, I expect you to write back. You can start by calling me Mad Dog, which I affectionately call my friends. I’m sure you’ll agree that it suits me perfectly. So, until next time, Mad Dog
P.S. I saw your movie, “The Rover.” I watched it three times, in a row. And, each time, I was entranced. It’s not often that I say that about a movie. But, your portrayal of my old friend, Woody Goodman, was superb! Even now, when I think about him, I can’t help but laugh. That man gave me the brush off in the worst way but, at the same time, made me feel like the most important person in the world. Thanks for giving me a piece of your mind, even though in a roundabout way. I really enjoyed reading your blog. I’m not a big fan of Madonna but, in this case, she’s right. You are full of bile and yet, strangely, I still like you. Forgive my terrible English but I hope you get what I’m trying to say. Thank you for listening. Sincerely, George
P.S. One more thing before I sign off. I want to tell you that you have amazing hair. I was just going to say that. But, since I said it, I want to say it again. Your hair is amazing. It’s so thick and full of waves. And, you wear it so well. I think you have the best hair in the whole world. Thanks for the compliment. You’re very kind. Sincerely, Sara
You can probably tell by now that I’m a big fan of Robert Pattinson’s. So much, in fact, that I wrote him a fan letter. It wasn’t easy, writing to him. I’ve been waiting for him to reply since I first found out about him but, so far, he’s ignored me. One day, I’ll have my revenge. For now, I’ll just have to be patient. I love reading your blog. The fact that you listen to all of us makes me feel like you really care. Thank you so much for your time. I look forward to your next entry. Sincerely, Anne.
Dear Robert, You are very kind. Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough money to purchase your book but, maybe, one day, I’ll be able to. I do hope we can be friends. I admire your work. You are an amazing writer and an incredible actor. It’s kind of funny how fate works. We were both at the same place, at the same time, and yet we didn’t meet. It’s a small world, isn’t it? Now, I’m not usually one to give advice, especially about love matters, but I feel like you’re going to be making some serious mistakes if you don’t pay attention to what I’m about to tell you. First of all, don’t write her back right away, even though you might feel like you want to. It’s better to let her breathe a little. Give her some time to miss you but, at the same time, don’t push your luck. She might not be the one you’re looking for. Believe it or not, some girls are more dangerous than others. They might like a part of your personality but, ultimately, they’re looking for a husband and that’s what will make them dangerous. For now, you’re just friends. But, if you ever wake up one morning and you feel like you want more, you need to stop right there and walk away, before it’s too late. I’ve been there. I understand. It’s not easy being in love with someone you don’t want to hurt. Believe it or not, there are worse things than being in love with the wrong person. Sometimes, the person you love the most ends up hurting you the most. That’s what happened to me. I fell in love with a woman who would eventually betray my trust. She would tell everyone about our intimate relationship. When I found out, I was devastated. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that it wasn’t painful. It was. I still hurt every day. But, in a way, I feel like I’m better off knowing the truth. At least, now, I have an idea of what I’m dealing with. It wasn’t until after she betrayed me that I was able to see her true colors. She wasn’t who I thought she was. She used me for my money, my status, and my body. So, no, being in love with the wrong person, while it might be beautiful on the surface, doesn’t always turn out the way you want it to. Sometimes, you get hurt the most when you think that the person you love the most doesn’t feel the same way. It’s not fair but, at the same time, it’s a truth. So, be careful. Don’t be afraid to walk away if you feel like she’s not the one for you, even though it might be hard to admit to yourself, especially if you’re in denial. She might surprise you. She might surprise everyone, even herself. But, for now, she’s still the wrong person. Good luck, Robert
The Romantic Letters
As we discussed in the last article, most of Robert’s fan letters are quite romantic. He seems to think that writing to the girls he meets on tumblr is a good idea, but he also gets letters from men and women who want to get back at him for some reason. You might call them the romantic letters. Here are a few examples: