There’s no question about it: 2018 has been quite a year for movie porn. Between the unexpected triumph of Hidden Figures and the record-breaking box office of Shorts, there’s plenty to celebrate. But as much as we may want to indulge in our newfound celebrity, it’s important to keep in mind the numerous ways in which these films may not be quite the thing you’re looking for. So before you spend another penny on tickets, take a gander at these reviews and maybe find something better to do with your time.
The Best Of The Best
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that 2018 has been a banner year for porn movies. Indeed, it’s probably the best year for movie porn in recent memory. There are so many great movies out there, and it’s hard to single out just a few. So rather than try and decide which one is the best, let’s take a look at some of the best of the best.
Avengers: Infinity War
No year is complete without some sort of superhero flick. And not just any superhero flick, oh no. We’re talking about the biggest, baddest, most climactic Avengers movie yet. Naturally, it’s going to be packed full of sexual tension, towering orgasms, and lots and lots of money. If you’re a huge fan of the Avengers, you’re in for a real treat. It’s not really a spoiler to say that at least one of the films climaxes with a battle royal between the Avengers and their adversaries. While some of the action sequences are a little less than enthralling, the overall effect is quite promising. It’s a real bucket-list item for any hardcore fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Bohemian Rhapsody
Another triumph for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While the general consensus is that this is one of the worst of 2018, we at The Sex Blogger disagree. Yes, it’s true that the acting is dreadful, the direction is amateurish, and there are significant plot holes. But don’t let that fool you. This is actually one of the best documentaries you’ll ever see, and it’ll teach you a great deal about the English monarchy, Queen Victoria, and the early years of the 20th century. Most importantly, it’s an incredible insight into the life of legendary rock star Freddie Mercury, who was born and raised in Uganda. In fact, he inspired much of the writing and performing in A Star Is Born, one of the most biographical movies of all time. If you’re not familiar with the life of Freddie Mercury, you can’t really say you’re an expert on rock music. So, while the film may not be perfect, at least you’ll have a new informed perspective on one of the most influential rock stars in history. And that’s a good thing.
Boyhood
A year after the release of his masterpiece, The Shape of Water, director Guillermo del Toro returned with a more conventional production. Despite being an adaptation of a beloved Stephen King novel, the film mostly plays it safe. Sure, there are a few twists and turns that you wouldn’t see coming. But other than that, it’s largely a matter of following a regular kid’s routine. It’s a bit disappointing, and not really what you’d call a genuine showcase for del Toro’s considerable talent. But as much as we may complain about the lack of ambition, at least you know what you’re getting into. And that’s the important thing.
First Women
It’s no secret that men dominate the world of porn, and it’s time for that to change. Well, sort of. At least, it’s time for the established order to be rattled. Indeed, 2018 was the year of the woman in porn. In the past, male performers have been featured prominently in mainstream porn movies. But in 2018, the camera wasn’t necessarily in the man’s hands, but rather, in the woman’s. And it’s not like it was a one-off event either. We saw many established pornstars opt for a role reversal, offering blowjobs, getting fucked, and even taking a dildo in the ass. One of the most acclaimed films of the year was Mandy Moore’s directorial debut, A Seat At The Table. Moore wanted to prove to her doubters that she was up to the challenge of directing a pornographic film. And she didn’t disappoint. Indeed, she delivered a truly cinematic experience, highlighting the talents of her performers. It’s unclear whether it was a triumph for women’s rights in film or just Moore’s personal project. But the important thing is that it was a milestone in the evolution of porn. And that’s a good thing.
The Disappointments
It’s only natural that, after such a stellar year for movie porn, we’d want to see more of the same. Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be. Although there were a handful of great films this year, there were also a number that were absolutely dreadful. It started with the disastrous Live In Pornstar, which featured a host of A-listers, including Elijah Wood, Joe Manganiello, Aimee Teegarden, and a who’s who of other adult film stars. Well, most of them, anyway. The movie itself was quite boring, and quite frankly, a bit racist as well. But, you know what, it at least afforded us the opportunity to see some great performances from our favorite porn stars. So, despite its faults, we’re thankful for that at least.
Similarly, John Wick 3: Fallen Hero was a huge disappointment. The first two movies in the trilogy were huge hits, so it was sure to follow that the third had to be great as well. Sadly, it was quite the opposite. Although it boasted some terrifically talented cast, notably including David Harbour, Anna Hutchison, and the always amazing Keanu Reeves, it was quite a dull affair. Disappointing not only for Keanu, but also for the fans who expected something more. The more promising entry in the series was John Wick: Blood Feud, which was surprisingly good. And surprisingly tame as well. Indeed, this is probably the tamer of the three John Wick movies. Nevertheless, it was a definite step down from the previous installments, especially since the series started out so strong. It doesn’t help that John Wick himself was seemingly absent in this one, as well. Without the charismatic assassin character, it felt less like a celebration of lethal prowess and more like an excuse to show lots of naked women.
Black Is Best
Even though mainstream porn has always been dominated by white performers, it’s not like that is a new phenomenon. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that interracial smut was considered a novelty. What is more interesting is that in 2018, there were more productions with an all-black cast than there have ever been before. All of a sudden, it seems, black is no longer considered a bonus in the bedroom. Rather, it’s the dominant theme. At least, most of the time. It would be nice if diversity was the order of the day in porn, but you’d be surprised how often it isn’t. One of the most famous movies of the year was Black America’s Got Talent. In it, you’ll see an all-star cast, including some of the biggest names in black entertainment. It boasts some incredible performances, from legends like Morgan Freeman and Harry Belafonte, to newcomers like Rapper Lil Nas X and Chaz Bono. But it’s a bit of a tense affair, as you’ll see lots of interracial flirting and some very explicit material. Whether or not you agree with what this movie is trying to say, it’s definitely a step forward in terms of inclusivity in porn. And that’s a good thing.
It seems that 2018 was a landmark year for porn. Although there were a number of great movies this year, there were also a number that were absolutely dreadful. It’s important to remain positive, though, and remember that in spite of the numerous disappointments, it was still an incredible year for cinematic smut.
It wasn’t all good news in the world of porn, however. Indeed, there were some truly tragic losses as well. Rapper Lil Nas X lost his life in a tragic car accident in April. He was 26 years old. And just three weeks later, in memory of their friend and collaborator, Gobby J’s death, rappers Kanye West and Lil Wayne commemorated his life and work with a posthumous tribute song, “Never Forget.” Hopefully, these two men can serve as examples to future artists, showing them that celebrating diversity and inclusivity can ultimately help to create a better world. Despite the setbacks, it was still an incredible year for cinematic smut.