You wake up, excited about the night’s plans. Then, bam. Pain. Like a bucket of pain. You didn’t drink enough water, and now you’re paying for it. You look in the mirror, and gasp. What you see is horrifying. You’ve obviously gained a few pounds over the years, and now you have a bit of a paunch. Ugh. How did this happen? You’re going to be depressed, so you decide to skip work and head to the coffee shop instead. While you’re there, a kind barista recommends you try out this new vegan biscuit recipe. You take a bite, and suddenly, you’re transported back to the good old days. The coffee shop scene is re-established in your head, and you realize that the key to avoiding depression is, in fact, vegan biscuits. You eat four, and within minutes, you feel like you could tackle the world. You jump up and down, yell “Hooray!” to no one in particular, and go home to prepare for the night of fun. Your friends arrive, and you tell them everything. They love your new coffee shop. They want to go there every day. They don’t care how many calories are in the biscuits. It’s great!

And then, another night. Another failure. You want to go for a run, but you feel like your hip joints are going to suffer. You have to give up because it hurts too much to turn over. Or you could go to the bar for a drink, but you just want to stay in and veg out. You decide to hit the books. In the end, it’s always the books. Every time, in the end. You could try self-help books, or you could read fiction. What you need is an escape, a way to feel like that coffee shop experience again. You want to feel like you did before you turned 40. Before you started gaining weight. Before the bad stuff started happening. Before you had to start making excuses for why you weren’t jumping up and down or turning over anymore. 

What you need is a hobby. Something you can do that doesn’t require any sort of physical exertion. Something that won’t make you feel bad about yourself. You could try knitting, but you’ve never been good at that. Maybe pottery, but you’re not sure that’s going to help you escape your existential crisis. Then, one day, you find it. While surfing the web, you come across a Kickstarter project. A vegan artist is looking for money to fund her art projects. Rather than paying the traditional model, where you have to buy a painting or photo, you can invest in a pop-up book

The money from one campaign has already been pledged. The next day, you follow the project’s link to see what it is. You click on a couple of the books, and they’re on your laptop screen within seconds. The cover of the first book catches your eye. So does the title: The Best Bottom Ever.

You start reading, and the first sentence, “This book is for everyone,” really hits you. You’ve found the key to your salvation. This book will tell you what you need to know to become the best possible version of yourself. The author, Charlie Pattinson, has decided that enough is enough. Enough of her drinking alcohol and using caffeine. Enough of trying to be someone she’s not. Enough of having self-doubt. She’s decided to change everything about herself, and with your help, she’s going to do it.

The book goes into detail about your hips, your thighs, your stomach, your breasts. Everything. The author doesn’t just tell you what you need to change, she tells you why. In doing so, she reveals a lot about her own life. She talks about her alcohol problem. About how she used to beat herself up about her looks. About how she was never confident enough to wear low-waisted jeans. It’s all in there. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The funny things she’d say, the things that hurt her, and the things that made her happy.

You read about a couple of her clients. People who, for whatever reason, weren’t able to change as much as they wanted to. People who still have a piece of themselves that they’re not quite sure they can get rid of. You read about their tattoos. About how the men sometimes have trouble admitting how they really feel. And it all makes perfect sense. You’re not alone. It’s okay to not be okay, and this book will help you figure out why.

The more you read, the more you realize this isn’t a fashion or beauty book. This is a book about self-love and acceptance. It’s not about trying to be someone you’re not, but about learning to love yourself, exactly who you are.

There are so many different ways to love yourself. So many different ways to express that you’re worthy, that you’re cool, that you’re lovable. This book will teach you how to find the way that makes you feel the most relaxed and happy. It’s completely up to you. No need to follow any rules or be anyone but yourself. You’re free.

The Key To Changing

One of the first things that stand out about this book is the positive attitude. It’s so refreshing to read something so upbeat. Something that makes you feel like you can actually do this. Most self-help books are pretty much just like that. So much gloom and doom. So much downer talk. This is refreshing. It makes you want to get up and cheer for the little artist as she embarks on a journey to be the best possible version of herself.

The more you read, the more you realize that this isn’t your usual fare. Normally, when you click on a book’s Amazon page, you’ll see mostly 5-star reviews. Very few 1-star reviews. People who’ve enjoyed the book or who’ve found it helpful often write about how much they love it. About how they feel better about themselves after reading it. The reverse is rarely the case. Most people will tell you that the information in this book is helpful, or they’ll give you a little bit of praise for getting healthier, or they’ll simply tell you that they enjoyed the stories. Rarely do you read a book and hear someone say, “I hated everything about myself before I read this book. Now, I see a different side to myself. A side that I never knew existed.” Or, “This book helped me realize that my body is perfect just the way it is.”

This is the type of response that you’ll hear over and over again from people who’ve read this book. They’ve realized that they don’t have to change everything about themselves to be happy. It’s okay to like what they like and dislike what they dislike. As long as they like themselves, they can’t be unhappy.

To put it bluntly, these are the types of people that give this book its uniqueness. These are the people who’ve read this book, and realized that they’re not monsters, after all. That there’s nothing wrong with them. That they’re cool, exactly as they are. That everything they like about themselves, they like because they’re cool. That they don’t have to be afraid to show whatever they feel like. That it’s perfectly acceptable to not like some things about yourself, and that you should never be ashamed of who you are. Or of what you like. Or of what you don’t like. Even if you’ve never talked to someone about what you like and don’t like, this book will help you figure it out. People will see you as you are, and that’s what makes you beautiful. When you accept and love yourself, no matter what, you’ll become the best possible version of yourself.

The Making Of The Book

We should probably mention that this book is part of a series. It’s the first in a trilogy, and the second and third books are titled The Slimming Guide and The Sexing Guide, respectively. The author has also published a weight loss plan that accompanies the book. All of this would be enough for most people, but we’re only human, and we have to stop somewhere along the way. This is where it starts. This is where it ends. This is where we are now. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is exactly who you want to be. You don’t need to change a thing. You’re perfect as you are. We want to remember that sometimes saying goodbye to the past is the only way forward. Sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. Where to end. This book will tell you where you should start and how you should end. Start by understanding that every part of you is important, and none of you deserves to be sacrificed for the sake of another. This is not a selfish book. It’s a book about understanding and acceptance. About being okay with who you are, especially when you’re not okay.